A transgender woman has revealed how her grandad had an unexpected reaction after learning she had transitioned.
Jade Mali hadn’t seen her grandad in a year – during which time she had transitioned from male to female – and was feeling apprehensive about the next family gathering.
The 28-year-old had a medical transition and gained a new legal name – but her 90-year-old family member hadn’t been informed.
READ MORE: ‘I wanted my daughter to be a social media star but now I’m backing the ban for under 16s’
Given Jade’s nerves about the situation, she was left shocked when she saw a sweet text sent by her grandad to her sister.
Jade shared the tale in a video to her TikTok – and it picked up more than 559,800 views.
“My mum had [already] had a the conversation with him, as per my request,”Jade, a regional manager based in New York City, told Need To Know.
“She let him know that since the last time he saw me, I had begun medically transitioning, changed my name, and now identify as a trans woman.
“I want to preface that my grandpa and I have never been especially close.
“I’ve lived away from Chicago my entire adulthood, and we live very different lives.
“Because of that, and because of his older age, I had a lot of anxiety about how he might receive this information.”
After Jade’s mother spoke with him, the grandfather took some time to process it on his own – but a few days later, reached out to her sister, expressing concern.
Jade said: “He was worried as he had already written a cheque as a gift using my old name and the card said ‘grandson’.
“He didn’t want to hurt or disrespect me and was scrambling to fix all of it.
“My sister assured him that it was all perfectly OK as is.
“When she told me, I felt overwhelmed with both joy and relief reading his texts.
“Because we aren’t particularly close, I had been bracing myself for distance or visible discomfort.
“Instead, he met me with genuine care.
“Afterwards, I felt a deep sense of relief and gratitude.
“It reminded me that support doesn’t always come from the people you expect and that sometimes it shows up in small but extremely meaningful ways.”
A transgender person’s gender identity is not the same as the sex recorded on their original birth certificate.
A transgender woman is someone registered male at birth, but who identifies as a woman.
When Jade eventually saw her grandad, she made a point to tell him that he needn’t have been so worried.
She said: “I told him it was OK if he made mistakes with my new name and that I didn’t want him worrying or stressing about it.
“He didn’t mess up my name once.
“He treated me the same as he always has. At one point, he even mentioned that his favourite server at a restaurant near his home is a trans woman, and that she’s a lovely and kind person.
“That moment stayed with me.
“It reminded me how much simple visibility has the power to make social dynamics and relationships more graceful for trans people.”
The older man’s reaction meant too much to her because it “would have been easy for him not to engage”, Jade noted.
She added: “He didn’t need to fully understand my lived experience to show up with kindness and empathy.
“That moment reinforced something I fundamentally believe: we don’t have to share the same experiences or fully understand one another to treat each other with respect and care.
“That kind of effort and empathy goes a really long way in life.”
In the video shared to social media, which has gained 82,500 likes and 700 comments, she can be seen telling the story, while also sharing a screenshot of the text.
The text reads: “Grandpa just called me at work and said, ‘Hate to bother you but what is her new name again?’
“’I’ve got to re-write this check now because all the wrapping says grandson but your mum told me I don’t have to worry about it.’
“’You know the girl at Olive Garden who knows me by my name is also transitioned and she’s great’.”
One fan, Tucker, said: “Protect this man at all costs.”
Beth joked: “He’s just like, ‘Girl you could have told me before I did my wrapping, now it’s all wrong’!”
Someone else said: “Omg he’s definitely going to brag to the Olive Garden girl about you!”
Olivis added: “I love that he’s fine but he’s STRESSED [about] this wrapping.”
Another user said: “Re-writing the cheque?!? That man loves his granddaughter.”
Lu added: “Him being stressed about the wrapping paper and learning from his Olive Garden friend?!! Literally crying… this is so sweet.”
READ MORE: ‘People say it’s disgusting but I serve my family ROADKILL – one animal can feed us for months’
