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Need To Know > Relationships > ‘I swore off older men after my ex – now I’m engaged to someone 28 YEARS my senior who takes his time in bed’
Woman, 31, dating a man 28 years her senior reveals the intimate details of their romance - insisting his age means he takes his time and she has never felt so respected.
Relationships

‘I swore off older men after my ex – now I’m engaged to someone 28 YEARS my senior who takes his time in bed’

Amy Walters
Last updated: August 7, 2026 10:47 am
Amy Walters Published August 7, 2026
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Melanie and Shanks. (Picture: Jam Press)
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A woman who is in a relationship with a man 28 years her senior has revealed intimate details about their whirlwind romance.

After Melanie Quinn’s relationship with a man double her age ended, she vowed to never date somebody older again.

Until she met Shanks Putwain, who is 28 years her senior.

READ MORE: ‘I fell for a customer at work who’s 34 YEARS older – now people mistake him for my dad’

The pair, aged 31 and 59, met after matching on Hinge and, after speaking for one month, decided to meet up face-to-face.

Instantly, sparks flew – though the musician had her concerns; such as how they looked together in public and how she will cope when he passes away long before her time is up.

But, after two years together, none of that matters anymore as the respect they have for one another is like no other.

Including in the bedroom.

“Him being old means he takes his time and isn’t rushed or freaky,” Melanie, from Bedfordshire, told Need To Know.

Woman, 31, dating a man 28 years her senior reveals the intimate details of their romance - insisting his age means he takes his time and she has never felt so respected.
Melanie Quinn. (Picture: Jam Press)

“I’ve never really liked that sort of thing.

“And [goes in with] no expectations.

“Both of us don’t really have a super high sex drive anyway; so it’s great.

“I’ve never been respected like this.

“Shanks listens and never judges me.”

Melanie and Shanks, a fellow musician, began to let their romance blossom after their first date.

After he asked her to cuddle, she felt butterflies.

Then, on their second meeting at his house, things turned physical.

Woman, 31, dating a man 28 years her senior reveals the intimate details of their romance - insisting his age means he takes his time and she has never felt so respected.
Melanie and Shanks. (Picture: Jam Press)

She said: “I think we both knew, then and there, that this was a lasting soul connection.”

Melanie does worry that, in the future, she’ll change her mind about having kids and wonders if it’ll be selfish for them to have an older dad.

But, for now, she’s focused on being a step-mum to his 14-year-old son.

Luckily, he doesn’t care about their romance – and nor does their family or friends.

Melanie said: “I get on well with his son.

“He’s at that age where everything is ‘whatever’ so I don’t think he cares.

Woman, 31, dating a man 28 years her senior reveals the intimate details of their romance - insisting his age means he takes his time and she has never felt so respected.
The engagement ring. (Picture: Jam Press)

“He just wants his dad to be happy.

“The reaction from others has been mostly positive.

“But the worst comments are from strangers online.

“I’ve been told that he’s grooming me.

“We got together when I was 29, so that isn’t the case.

“And he’s the most relaxed person no matter what.

“When people meet us, they get it, though.”

The pair, who have never argued, do enjoy their alone time.

(Picture: Jam Press)
(Picture: Jam Press)

Currently, they’re saving up to purchase a place where they can have separate rooms.

And, they have a wedding to plan, too.

She added: “He proposed eight months in.

“Not to plan a wedding, but to show his commitment.

“The reason I don’t post a lot about our relationship is because I’ve been in an age gap before where it was concerning.

“But you can have loving ones, like ours.

“We’re perfectly aligned.”

READ MORE: ‘I fell for Teddy Swims after he praised my singing online – but the romance left me £1,000 out-of-pocket’

Woman, 31, dating a man 28 years her senior reveals the intimate details of their romance - insisting his age means he takes his time and she has never felt so respected.
Melanie and Shanks. (Picture: Jam Press)
Woman, 31, dating a man 28 years her senior reveals the intimate details of their romance - insisting his age means he takes his time and she has never felt so respected.
Melanie and Shanks. (Picture: Jam Press)
Woman, 31, dating a man 28 years her senior reveals the intimate details of their romance - insisting his age means he takes his time and she has never felt so respected.
Melanie and Shanks. (Picture: Jam Press)
Woman, 31, dating a man 28 years her senior reveals the intimate details of their romance - insisting his age means he takes his time and she has never felt so respected.
Melanie and Shanks. (Picture: Jam Press)

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