A hairstylist and salon owner has hit back at people who brand her a ‘sugar mama’ for dating a man 20 years her junior – insisting he is the one who struggles to keep up with her.
Vanessa Drozda, 51, has been with Logan Goodrid, 31, a commodity manager, for around a year and a half – after the pair met on the set of the Netflix show, ‘Age of Attraction’.
Despite the eye-watering 20-year age gap, Vanessa says she’s never felt more understood – and has even had a ‘Cougar Lives Matter’ T-shirt made after growing tired of people trying to explain away her relationship.
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The pair are also fed up with assumptions that they will never have a family because of her age.
“Twenty years sounds huge when you put it on paper,” Vanessa, from Canton, Ohio, US, told Need To Know.
“But when you’re actually sitting across from someone and connecting with them, you’re not thinking about a number.
“[On the show], Logan and I were both cast members.
“We were not allowed to know anyone’s age unless we decided to pair up and ask the other to be exclusive.
“Once our ages were revealed, we had the option to separate if we wanted – we decided to stay together.
“For me, age wasn’t the attraction; Logan was.
“I liked how outgoing he is, how we love the same music and activities.
“He actually asked questions about me and wanted to get to know me.
“As for [who made] the first move… there was an off-camera moment when the group of us were walking to an event at the resort.
“I had heels on and must’ve been a little wobbly on the terrain.
“Logan approached me and asked to take my arm and help me walk across the bridge.
“I thought that was very chivalrous! Once we got to the building, we got a drink and started chatting.
“The rest is history!”
Now off-screen, Vanessa is constantly having to shut down rumours that she’s bankrolling the relationship – insisting that both she and Logan are both financially independent.
She said: “One of the biggest assumptions people make is that I’m a ‘sugar mama,’ which is simply not the case.
“We both have good jobs, we’re both financially independent, and we both live comfortably.
“Logan is not with me because he needs my money, and I’m not with him because of his age.”
As for the bedroom, Vanessa says she has “more energy and stamina” than her man.
The salon owner also used to despise the “cougar” label but has now decided to own it.
She said: “I actually have more energy and stamina than Logan.
“I think that surprises people because they automatically assume the younger partner is going to have more energy.
“In our case, that’s not necessarily true.
“I used to hate the term ‘cougar’ because it always felt predatory to me.
“In reality, my experience is that the younger man is often the one pursuing the older woman.
“But at some point, I realised people are going to have their own opinions regardless of what I say.
“Once I accepted that, I decided to lean into it instead of letting it bother me.”
Vanessa also hit out at the double standard she believes still exists around older women dating younger men.
She said: “An older man with a younger woman has been done since the beginning of time.
“However, when an older woman dates a younger man, suddenly everyone wants an explanation or thinks it’s odd.
“We’re seeing the tides change, though.
“Women are living longer, staying active longer, building careers and businesses, and refusing to believe that their romantic lives have an expiration date after 50.”
As for the future, Vanessa hasn’t ruled out starting a family with Logan.
The couple say they’ve deliberately avoided rushing into major milestones, preferring to let things “bloom in its own time”.
She added: “Another assumption people make is that we can’t have children because of our age difference.
“The reality is that if having children is something we ever choose to do, there are many different ways to build a family, biological or otherwise.
“I don’t think age predicts longevity in a relationship at all.
“No relationship comes with a guarantee, regardless of the ages of the two people involved.
“We’re two people who have chosen to be together, and I think what matters most is how we communicate, how connected we are and how we continue to show up for each other.”
