A parenting expert has spoken out amid controversial comments influencer, Gemma Atkinson, made about allegedly pinching her son.
She reportedly posted on Instagram that, after her one-year-old son, Thiago nipped her daughter, Mia, five, she “did it back” to him.
The former CBeebies presenter has since denied that she pinched her son, appearing to show that she instead mimicked the motion.
READ MORE: Grammy-winning musician performs gig on iceberg to promote ocean and climate protection
Parenting coach and expert, Kirsty Ketley, 43, has criticised those who use physical methods of punishment like pinching.
“[Pinching children] is something I come across a lot – but it’s 30 years out of date in terms of how to deal with a situation,” Kirsty, from Surrey, told Need To Know.
“I like that Gemma’s a down-to-earth mum and she’s quite relatable – and this situation is one that will be relatable to so many parents.
“She has potentially come across doing this because a parent or older generation family member has said ‘pinch them back’.
“It’s the same with biting and hitting.
“But that’s not the way to deal with it and there are better ways to deal with it.
“Two wrongs don’t make a right – which is one of the biggest points that I make to parents.
“You’re not really teaching them not to do the behaviour at all, because you’re doing it back to them.
“Thiago is only one, he’s very young and still in the early stages of toddlerhood.
“He’s got lots of learning to do, and I can guarantee that he’s probably pinching his sister out of frustration because he hasn’t got vocabulary or the comprehension to express exactly how he’s feeling.”
Gemma – who previously hosted The Toddler Club on the children’s network – was comparing the differences between her two children, saying that Thiago’s “tantrums” are “new as Mia didn’t have them”.
The original post – shared on Instagram Stories for 24 hours – reportedly read: “He pretend-cries and throws himself on the floor.
“I stand and watch until he realises it’s getting him nowhere and they are slowly getting shorter.
“He pinches when he gets frustrated.
“I did it back to him on Wednesday as he did it hard to Mia.
“He’s not done it since.”
However, in a series of videos posted on Instagram Stories last night (1 October), she appeared to backtrack on the controversial comment.
She clarified: “I didn’t do a post and delete it, I did an Instagram Story so it deletes itself after 24 hours.”
Demonstrating what happened when Thiago “nipped” Mia, she mimics the motion and says, “I said oi, we don’t nip”.
She then motions as if to pinch harder and says “I didn’t – I mean, as if I would!”.
Kirsty shared her tips for handling the situation without resorting to physical reactions.
She said: “The best thing to do, with a one-year-old especially, is doing avoidance techniques.
“It’s a case of keeping an eye on them and recognising when they are going to get frustrated and upset, and when they may lash out and pinch.
“You can reinforce that we use ‘kind’ or ‘gentle’ hands, though that’s not always effective for kids.
“Some children it works really well for, and it is a gentler way to respond, but that needs to be demonstrated to them too [to explain] what ‘kind’ hands means.
“You can also do lots of work on emotions, so start having stories that focus on characters showing different feelings.
“But mainly it’s about working on children’s frustrations.
“It’s a normal phase that all parents go through at some point – even if it’s only once – with their child.
“It’s not a reflection of your parenting at all.
“[It can] make you feel bad, but it’s not your parenting, and there is an easy fix.
“So look for those triggers for when your child may pinch, bite or hit – usually this will be when they are playing and grow frustrated.
“Before it gets to that point, try and offer them some alternatives – like going to play with something else – and this can diffuse the situation.
“Talk to your child when you can see they are upset and frustrated, explain to them that that’s what they are feeling.
“For example, ‘I can see you are frustrated or upset’.
“Partake in turn-taking activities – like rolling a ball – to teach them to wait, and this is a really important part of building social skills in children and teaching them how to play with other kids.
“I hate the ‘naughty step’ and putting kids in a time-out.
“I think it’s important to remove them from a situation, and to check on the other child in front of your child to see that they are OK and show that you are sorry for your child’s behaviour.
“Then, your child can see you giving them the main attention – so if it’s an attention-seeking thing, which with siblings it can be, then they can see that that is not the way to get your attention.”
Jam Press has contacted a representative of Gemma Atkinson for comment.
READ MORE: Gary Linekers nephew 18 tragically killed in tree surgery accident – inquest reveals
