A parenting expert has shared that you should ignore the teachers’ advice during school drop-off, instead comforting them with long goodbyes.
Roma Norriss, parenting consultant and mum-of-four, believes that we have got it all wrong and should be addressing separation anxiety in kids.
She claims that offering warm hugs and support will lead to more confidence, better learning, and eventually, shorter drop-offs.
Choosing to ignore the advice of teachers, she has used this approach on Zephyr, 15, Artemis, 11, and two stepsons, 16 and 12, [not named for privacy reasons].
“Ignore the teachers, they are understandably concerned with crowd control,” Roma, from Somerset, told http://NeedToKnow.co.uk
“If your little one gets upset at school or nursery drop off, the response you’re most likely to get from teachers and caregivers is something along the lines of ‘pass them to me and just go, they’ll be fine in a few minutes’.
“Children’s feelings of distress are valid, starting in a new setting or moving to a new class is genuinely intimidating.
“Yes, your child will be ‘fine’ If you leave them but you won’t actually be addressing the underlying feelings that make it hard for them to separate from you.”
According to Roma, leaving your child at school upset results in reduced learning capacity, self-doubt, and ongoing separation anxiety.
She said: “What really happens is that they pack away their feelings and press on, but some of their bandwidth continues to be used up by the upset so that they aren’t fully available for learning.
“If children do settle by being repeatedly left upset, it’s due to learned helplessness rather than addressing the unmet need.
“Humans, especially small ones are wired for connection and feel safer when they are with loved ones so going it alone brings this close to the surface.”
Ignoring the advice of teachers, Roma suggests you take your child aside and give them as much time as they need, listening to their concerned tears.
“Instead of peeling your child off you and making a swift exit, opt for a long goodbye,” she added.
“Take the time to keep proposing that you are going to leave but instead of forcing the issue, just keep listening to their tears and protests.
“I can assure you that if you can put the time in during the first weeks of term, you can expect your child not only to be the confident one skipping into school, but you’ll give them the gift of being able to learn and play well throughout the day.”
