A man has beaten four addictions after spending £1,200 a month funding cocaine, ketamine, weed and booze-fuelled binges.
Jamie Cargill spent years in a downward spiral of abusing alcohol and drugs, using them to quash his emotions and finding it difficult to go without while working in a bar.
Soon, he was taking cocaine up to six days a week – which was both financially and physically straining for the 30-year-old.
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“Things started to spiral,” Jamie, a bartender from Romford, Essex, told Need To Know.
“I would rarely even take a week-long break from cocaine and alcohol, and the ketamine came a few years later in 2024.
“I fell into the same cycle, using four to six days a week.
“My work life really started to suffer.
“I would constantly call in sick without saying anything to anyone.
“Sometimes I would make up extreme reasons for not coming in because it had become a constant thing, and I felt such shame about not turning up.
“It got so bad that in 2024, I bounced around five different pub jobs in a single year.
“I realised this had become an addiction quite early on – as soon as I started locking myself in my room just wanting to sniff and drink on my own.
“This is why I wouldn’t wish addiction on my worst enemy – because even with that realisation, I didn’t stop.
“Something would not let me, and I was just locked into pure self-destruction.
“Life at the height of this was hell.
“I wasn’t sleeping, I couldn’t eat, and I couldn’t focus – it took everything away, even the simple things.
“I was no longer skateboarding or seeing the friends who were good for me.
“I didn’t get pleasure from music, reading, or anything I usually appreciated.
“I hated the things I used to love, and I hated what I had become.
“I was in a cage and I didn’t know where to go.”
Jamie would find himself crying alone in his room, surrounded by nothing but £100 worth of cocaine and ketamine to get through.
His mental health suffered so badly that he even attempted suicide at one point, in November 2024.
He said: “The absolute lowest point was when I was ready to throw in the towel.
“I was working a shift in a pub, and I grabbed a steak knife and threw it in my bag.
“I wrote a letter to my friends and family, saying I knew how selfish I looked but asking them to understand I was in mental pain I couldn’t take anymore.
“I finished my shift, got drunk to make it easier, and picked up a £40 bag of ketamine.
“I went to the park late at night, sniffed it all at once, and slit my arms.
“Everything faded to black.
“When my eyes opened, I was confused.
“I felt my arm and the blood running down while I was fading into a K-hole.”
Thankfully, Jamie’s friend had sensed something was amiss and phoned him to see where he was.
He took him home to recover, and the rock bottom moment became the starting point for things to turn around.
Jamie said: “I continued to use it for another month and a half before I finally decided to give myself a shot at a new life.”
After nearly eight years in addiction, and having spent an estimated £1,200 a month on drink and drugs, in January 2025 Jamie finally started his recovery journey.
He said: “I had an ‘all-in’ mentality – I told myself that if I went all-in and broke, I would finish the job for good this time, because I couldn’t deal with the pain.
“My brain went into pure survival mode.
“Recovery hasn’t been a straight path.
“I ditched the drink, coke, and ketamine all at once, but I picked up weed as a form of harm reduction.
“I used it to get my mind and body right, setting a goal that once I was comfortable, I would drop the weed too – which I did after a year.”
Jamie experienced cold sweats and heightened emotions throughout his early months in recovery.
He said: “It was a struggle but being at rock bottom changed something in me.
“I’d get urges every now and then, but I would remember where it put me, and it would quickly fizzle out.
“Work was very difficult at first, but I enjoy working in a pub, so once I got through the initial phase of withdrawals and just wanting to have a good time like that, it hasn’t been an issue.
“I’m still working at the pub and can actually be around the same people I once was.
“Nothing has changed – apart from myself.
“It reinforces [my sobriety] even more.
“I see the change in certain people [when they drink or take drugs] – it drags them away from who they are and reminds me that I don’t ever want a substance to control how and who I am.
“Plus, hearing about the hangovers – I don’t ever want to experience that again and I’m glad I can’t even remember what one feels like.
Now, Jamie is proudly 100% sober and focused on his health.
He said: “I started going to the gym three to four times a week and walking home nearly every day – an hour-and-a-half back.
“I’ve gone from rock bottom to the best shape of my life – while surrounded by the very things that nearly took me out.
“I feel good and have no desire to revisit those crutches.
“I am trying to get into work that helps people through addiction – whether that is specifically for those in hospitality or everyone in general.
“I have found my purpose and mission, which solidifies my sobriety, and I love who I am – and who I’m becoming.
“Now, I want to help those who are where I once was.
“To those suffering: please know you are not alone.
“There are people like me who have been through it and will help you fight.
“Addicts are some of the strongest people on this planet.
“If you can put that much effort into constantly hurting yourself, you have the engine to do amazing things.
“You just have to transfer that energy differently.”
