A woman has revealed how she found out her late dad was gay after discovering his secret diaries and ‘bondage room’ hidden inside her home – and says she’s “quite proud” of his extracurricular activities.
Caroline Humphries, 60, is the owner of the 1000-year-old Ancient Ram Inn, a Grade-II listed building in Gloucestershire dubbed the “most haunted house in the UK”.
It previously belonged to her late father John Humphries, who bought the inn in 1968 but sadly passed away in 2017.
After his death, Caroline discovered a bondage-type room, home-made sex toys and his journals, which he wrote daily from 1972, revealing he was gay but that he had kept it a secret from most people throughout his life.
“We knew there was a space above the kitchen where dad used to disappear to,” Caroline told Jam Press.
“It was full of rats so after he died I went in there to see what was in it.
“There was a big mirror hanging above a bed with great big thick ropes, handmade dildos on the beams, leather and bondage gear and the inner tube of a rubber tyre with a nose and mouth space cut into it.
“I thought it was hilarious.”
Investigating further, Caroline – who up until this point had no idea her dad was gay – found his secret diaries and decided to read them to get to know him better.
She said: “When I read his diaries I found out he was gay.
“He had written that he moved the family’s lodger Pete* into the inn because he couldn’t give mum the proper sexual relationship that a married couple would have.
“So he allowed Pete to move in for him and mum to sleep together.”
She also found photos of her dad wearing rubber gear while “sitting on mum’s sewing machine”.
Although she feels sad that her dad never found love with a man while alive, Caroline is thrilled to have discovered this side of his life – and is “proud” of him.
She said: “I was pleased and delighted when I found the objects and the room.
“It’s been years and I’ve still not discovered all of dad’s bits and pieces.
“Being gay was illegal back in his day and age so it wasn’t something that was talked about.
“In his diaries, he mentions his conflicts within him about his sexuality and how they made him depressed and lonely because he craved companionship.
“The discovery doesn’t bother me at all, I’m quite proud.
“He must have been a very strong to have lived with that.”
Caroline’s mother, Barbara continued to have a relationship with Pete until she passed away in 2020 but kept John’s sexuality a secret, never talking about why their lodger slept in her room with her in the 1960s and 70s.
Thinking back now, she remembers some things growing up that fit with what she has since found in the house.
Caroline said: “When I was a little girl my dad used to sleep next door in a mortuary we owned and when I used to go in with his morning cup of tea I would see tons of rubber and leather leggings he used to have hanging all around the walls.
“I thought nothing of it [at the time].
“But in the diaries dad hints at possible liaisons he might have had with other men.
“He writes that on one occasion he decided to take an extra pair of leathers and rubber gear over to his friend John’s house to stay with him and writes ‘bootiful’ with smiley faces next to it.
“He had flirtations with women as well, so I think he was very confused himself – he may have been bisexual, I’ll never know.”
Caroline is still reading the piles of diaries her dad left behind and is excited to see what else she might find out about her dear father.
She has chosen to share her story in the hope that people might understand her father better but that it will also inspire others struggling with their sexualities to be open with their family members.
Caroline added: “Nobody wants to struggle with this sort of emotional turmoil.
“Thank god nowadays most don’t have to – but I hope dad’s story will help others.”
*Pete is a pseudonym.
