A woman has shared how herpes wreaks havoc on her dating life but how she has found ways to live with the condition – and why she won’t let it stop her from enjoying sex.
Adrienne Rommel has suffered five outbreaks since being diagnosed.
For a long time, the stress of a potential flare-up caused her to isolate herself from sex and dating.
But the 43-year-old vaginal health nutritionist has finally embraced her diagnosis, which she says makes her feel “empowered” – even if she is sometimes ghosted because of it.
“It wasn’t until later into my diagnosis that I started having problems with it,” Adrienne told Need To Know.
“I started isolating myself from dating or sex, and I started worrying all the time about it.
“I couldn’t seem to get it under control.
“It was a really difficult time for me because I lost my sexual self-confidence and sexual freedom, which have always been very important to me.
“Rejection sucks, especially because of herpes, but I don’t want to be with someone who isn’t okay with it.
“There have been partners who I’ve told who weren’t okay with it, and completely ghosted me after.
“There have been partners who I’ve told who were okay with it at first, but then later weren’t.
“Most of the time, there have been partners who I’ve disclosed to who have been totally cool with it.
“One thing I’ve learned in all these experiences is that everyone always respects me when I tell them upfront and am honest with them about it.”
Adrienne, who is currently single, claims changing her diet and using holistic practices have seen her outbreaks lessen over the past three years.
She was first diagnosed over 20 years ago and although it has been a tough journey, she now feels comfortable living with herpes.
She said: “I feel confident in my diagnosis now.
“I rarely get outbreaks anymore because now I know how to manage it in my body, I know what my triggers are, and I know how to manage those.
“I have adjusted my lifestyle around my diagnosis to manage it better and it’s working.
“I still have a hard time having disclosure conversations, though. You just never know who’s going to be okay with it and who isn’t.
“Dating is already hard enough.”
Adrienne’s work specialising in holistic nutrition for vaginal health has also helped her to feel more empowered, while also empowering other women in their diagnosis.
She said: “As I talk to people who have herpes every day, I know a lot about it, and I know how common it is.
“I no longer feel the shame and stigma I once did, particularly when I was going through the recurring outbreak phase.
“I can be hypervigilant about making sure everything is okay, especially if I am sexually active but I try to remember that I’m doing everything I can.
“Nobody really knows what it’s like unless they’ve gone through it.
“It’s a whole other level of emotional trauma that no one really understands unless they’ve been through it too.
“Herpes is very common, very manageable, and you can still live an amazing life whilst living with herpes.”
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