A mum who is in a poly relationship and raising her kids with two partners says it’s been a positive change for the youngsters.
Saga McFarland is raising a family with her partner Don Edmondson, 46, and his partner Alex Alberto, 36.
The three adults share a home and the responsibility of parenting of Saga’s two children – a structure the 34-year-old says has transformed their lives.
READ MORE: ‘Trolls call my man a PREDATOR because of our age gap – when he’s old and grey I’ll still be a 10′
“As a former single mother, joining a household with two other committed adults was transformative,” Saga told Need To Know.
“And I saw the positive impact on my children almost immediately.
“My parents have remarked many times on how much more relaxed and happy I am now – they see the role that polyamory has played.
“Our families see how well our children are doing.
“Watching kids thrive with more care and stability tends to quiet a lot of initial doubts.
“When it comes to family, my focus is less on polyamory itself and more on rejecting the idea that the nuclear family is the only valid model.
“Mothers know we need a village, and we deserve the freedom to build one.”
The writer and content creator first realised she was polyamorous around six years ago, shortly after her divorce.
She started dating research psychologist Don three years ago.
Don and Alex were already in an eight-year relationship at the time.
Saga and Alex, who is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns, aren’t romantic partners – they are metamours.
A metamour is a term used in ethical non-monogamy and polyamory to describe a partner’s other partner.
The father of Saga’s two children lives abroad, so the minors live with the trio full time.
Despite common assumptions, Saga insists jealousy hasn’t been a major issue.
She said: “In my experience, jealousy was actually much scarier in monogamous relationships because it often ‘justifies’ controlling behaviour.
“Polyamory has allowed me to step outside of those scripts, and as a result, jealousy has been far less of an issue for me.”
Saga, who is from New York, went on: “Our first Thanksgiving together was spent at my mother’s house, with extended family and friends.
“Everyone was welcoming and loving and it all just felt very mundane and normal.
“I was excited to meet Alex’s family and especially for Alex’s family to meet our kids.
“I knew that even if we experienced some awkward moments, that Don, Alex and I would be weathering it together as a family.
“But Alex’s family has been great – supportive of Alex and supportive of their non-traditional route to step-parenthood.”
Saga, who shares her family life online, says the biggest challenge so far has been the fear of being rejected by outsiders.
She added: “Honestly, the hardest part has been worrying about stigma rather than anything inside our family.
“Our children’s schools and community have been very supportive, but we’re conscious that negative messages about families like ours still exist in the broader culture.
“I share our family life online because visibility matters.
“Seeing ordinary families living openly helps reduce stigma and lets others imagine what might be possible for them.
“We do receive negative comments, which I always delete because I want my page to feel safe and celebratory.
“The most common theme is people assuming that polyamory must be confusing or unstable for children.
“But in reality, blended families are common and our kids have more consistency and support now than they ever did when I was raising them alone.
“On bad days, the negative comments do make me sad – it reminds me that the life that I worked so hard to build isn’t understood by many people.
“But it also underscores why increasing awareness about polyamorous families is so important.”
READ MORE: ‘I’m a human DOG and love performing tricks for other people so I can get a treat’
