A mum who feared she’d never see her daughter again has revealed how her abusive ex strangled her, repeatedly smashed her face with a mobile phone and told her she “didn’t deserve to live”.
Sharing her story during the current Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Harriet Southall claims she was left gasping for air as her former partner Jake Blount, 35, tightened his grip around her neck during a terrifying attack at their home.
The 32-year-old said she thought she was going to die as she begged him to stop.
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After finally releasing her, Harriet claims Jake laughed at her bloodied face and told her: “You did that to yourself”.
The mum-of-one, whose daughter, then seven, was staying at her dad’s, managed to escape the three-storey detached house wearing only her underwear and a pyjama top before calling 999 from her car.
She claims that the attack was provoked by her enjoying a night out with friends, before she returned home to their shared home.
“He was constantly ringing and texting [while I was out],” Harriet, a district nurse from Wolverhampton, told Need To Know.
“I told him I couldn’t cope with it and begged him to stop.
“When I got home, I got into bed with him.
“[I thought] he was asleep but as I was laying on my front, I felt something hit the back of my head, and he grabbed my phone demanding to know who I was texting.
“My phone was locked and when I refused to give him the passcode, he used it to hit me in the face.
“All I could taste was blood.
“I touched my lip and felt it was cut open, so I tried to get away.
“He chased me, still phone in hand and put me into a headlock using his elbow.
“With his free hand, he was using it to hit me repeatedly in the face with the bottom of the phone.
“I was gasping for air, begging him to stop and he told me I didn’t deserve to live.
“I thought, ‘I’m going to die here and never see my daughter again’.
“I lay on the floor after he had let go, and pretended to be unconscious while planning my escape from the house.
“As I slowly got up, he asked what I’d done to my face and started laughing.
“I was crying, asking what he’d done to me.
“He said I’d done it to myself.
“I counted to three in my head and ran down two flights of stairs as fast as I could.
“He chased me and as soon as I got in the street he backed off because I said I’d scream to the neighbours.”
Harriet drove away, parked nearby and rang 999, where police picked her up wearing just her underwear and a pyjama top.
The shocking attack happened in September 2024 – more than four years after they first met through mutual friends in 2020.
At first, Harriet said Blount appeared ambitious, kind and thoughtful.
The pair moved in together seven months later and Harriet said she began discovering a different side to him.
She said: “He took initiative in planning dates and wanting to spend time together.
“He was very generous, kind, took me out on dates and bought regular gifts to show he was thinking of me all the time.
“Then he started to lie about where he was and who he was with, but I only found this out when we started living together.
“He’d spend evenings in casinos and not come home till three or four in the morning, some nights turning his phone off.
“I once questioned him on where he had been and he spat in my face, but because my daughter was in the house I tried to avoid conflict and just put up with it.”
Harriet claims her former partner became suspicious of her and concerned she was seeing other people.
She said: “He eventually started checking the washing basket to see what underwear I’d worn to work – and if it wasn’t what he thought was appropriate for work, he would accuse me of cheating.
“I once went to a colleague’s retirement party and someone said he was driving past the house constantly.
“I immediately left to go home as I was embarrassed.
“He had accused me of not being there even though my car was.”
She claims Jake promised he would change and they agreed to attend therapy.
But she said his controlling behaviour and violence only worsened over time.
She said: “He would grab my hair and go to smash my head against the coffee table but stop when he got my head close enough,
“Then he’d laugh when I’d cry or be scared.
“He smashed up personal belongings, phones, my Dyson Airwrap; he ripped the handles of my first-ever Louis Vuitton bag I’d bought myself for passing my degree.
“Jake would never apologise – he would always go cold and distant, but not let me leave him.
“I used to find myself trying to make him forgive me for nothing I’d done.
“He was always loving, generous and friendly in front of other people, and occasionally would be like that behind closed doors.”
Harriet’s family became increasingly concerned and repeatedly begged her to leave during the four-and-a-half-year relationship.
But she also felt ‘trapped’ by the couple’s finances, with a shared mortgage, before the terrifying attack forced her to leave.
Jake pleaded guilty to ABH and intentional strangulation and was sentenced to 18 months’ custody in January 2025.
Now, after being diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety, Harriet is rebuilding her life and hopes speaking out will help other women recognise the warning signs of an abusive relationship.
She said: “Court was very traumatic.
“I chose to read my victim impact statement in person, so to do that to his face was very hard, but I needed closure.
“[These days] I’m on antidepressants for my anxiety, I don’t like loud noises and I don’t like people getting angry or aggressive.
“I don’t trust anyone, and don’t think I ever will again fully.”
She received counselling through Women’s Aid, while her daughter has also undergone therapy.
But last year, Harriet took a major step towards rebuilding her life by starting a Pilates studio with her best friends.
She added: “Surrounding myself with women who are going through all phases of life has done wonders for my mental health.
“I want anyone else in an abusive relationship to know that financial problems or anything that comes from leaving an abusive relationship can get sorted; physically or mentally abusing yourself by staying will not.”
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