A dad has revealed how he’s being ‘destroyed alive’ after a medication swap has left him ‘vibrating’ uncontrollably.
And now, it’s a race against the clock to find a cure.
When Christoph Muth was asked to switch his usual anti-depressant for another brand, he didn’t think much of it.
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Until the decision began to alter life as he knew it forever.
The 52-year-old, within days of taking the new pill, started to experience uncontrollable tremors, prickling of the skin, issues with balance and sometimes, complete numbness.
Despite going through monitored withdrawal, Christoph’s nervous system has never reverted back to how it used to be.
And now, having exhausted all options in his home country, he’s been “forced” to move to Thailand as a last-ditch effort.
“I want my life back,” the library technician told Need To Know
“I feel as though I’m being destroyed alive.
“This illness determines almost every hour of my life.
“Emotionally, I’m filled with fear and anger.
“Physically, my body refuses to calm down.
“There is hardly such a thing as a truly normal day anymore.
“I’m living in survival mode.”
Before trying to navigate this new normal, he lived a rather happy life with his wife and three kids [not named for privacy reasons].
He had taken escitalopram for years in a bid to manage his mild panic disorder but, at the end of 2022, it was suggested he switch to duloxetine.
The drug, which also doubles as pain medication, was suggested after he was involved in an accident and injured his arm.
While he blames the aforementioned symptoms on this, it’s not conclusive that the medication change is the absolute cause.
It might be that the neurological condition – of which hasn’t yet been formally diagnosed – lay dormant for years; and this switch triggered it off.
It’s something Christoph is searching tirelessly for answers on.
Nowadays, he battles through sensory disturbances, malfunctions with his heart rate and blood pressure, body vibrations and reduced mobility.
And, with things only worsening, he’s desperate for a solution to halt progression before his entire body shuts down.
He said: “At times, I experience freezing episodes in which I remain standing as if frozen.
“For a moment, I can no longer continue walking.
“My body just won’t let me.
“One of the most striking features of my condition is the pronounced asymmetry of my autonomic nervous system.
“One side of my body can react completely differently from the other.
“For example, goosebumps can sometimes occur on only one side of my body.
“There can also be clear differences between the two sides of my face.
“At times, one eye deviates clearly outwards, or to the side, while the two eyes no longer react synchronously.
“My vision is becoming increasingly impaired and my speech is also affected at times.
“Particularly unusual is the fact that certain movements of my head or body can trigger or intensify neurological and autonomic reactions; such as spasms.
“I cry almost each day, as I am so desperate for a cure.
“But I’ll keep fighting as I know that it’s out there.”
In October 2023, Christoph underwent extensive neurological examinations in his home country of Germany.
At the end of 2025, he was referred to a specialist clinic in Israel, before being recommended to a hospital in Thailand.
While there, he’s had multiple MRI scans, spinal fluid examinations and antibody testing.
He’s also undergone IVIG treatment, where processed immunoglobulins – Y-shaped proteins which fight off bacteria – are given from donor plasma.
It was hoped this would stop, or stabilise, the progression.
So far, nothing has worked.
He said: “It’s very difficult to be away from my family.
“My wife and three kids are the most important people in my life.
“I want to be more of a father and husband again – not spend almost every hour of my life primarily being a patient.
“I miss normal family life and the completely ordinary things I hardly thought about before.
“I miss reading to my young daughter, going outside with her and having a picnic together.
“And with my two sons, I used to fly quadcopters with them or play video games.
“I miss being able to be there for them as I used to be.”
Christoph is sharing his story in the hopes that it’ll reach the likes of a leading neurological centre in the United States or Asia.
It’ll be his last attempt to stop this disease before it completely ‘destroys’ him.
He added: “It would mean everything to my family and me.
“Even stabilisation would be a major success for us.
“Improvement would of course mean even more.
“There are so many clues here, and individual pieces of the puzzle, but no final solution.
“This illness has taught me a great deal about life; nothing can be taken for granted.
“When you are healthy, you hardly think about that.
“I understand, now, how valuable a single quiet hour can be, or being able to hold someone I love, such as my daughter, in my arms.
“It’s a race against time to be admitted to a highly specialised clinical centre before this takes everything away from me.”
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