A mum who discovered she was pregnant at 33 weeks after believing she was going through the menopause has revealed her shock at still doing the primary school run in her fifties.
Michelle Rock was 42 when she discovered she was expecting her daughter Rylee after being told she was in the early stages of menopause.
While most parents she meets at the gates are in their twenties and thirties, Michelle is now 52, making her one of the older mums on the primary school run.
READ MORE: Teaching assistant called in sick after kids asked what was wrong with her face
“I’ve been asked twice if I’m Rylee’s granny or mum,” Michelle, from Belfast, Northern Ireland, told Need To Know.
“Once by an older woman and once by a child.
“I knew it was bound to happen someday so it just amused me.
“I felt older when I first started doing the school run but then I met some of similar age to myself.
“It’s a whole mixture of ages thankfully.
“I don’t mind being older than the other parents, there’s quite a few of us.
“My friends are grannies now though.
“Rylee never points it out, it’s just normal to her.”
But Michelle says becoming a mother later in life has given her a perspective she may not have had when she was younger.
The special education needs classroom assistant said: “I wouldn’t change anything about becoming a mum at 42.
“At times I wish I was younger so that I would have more energy and wouldn’t get dizzy on amusement park rides but I wasn’t ready until that age.”
The mum-of-one had always wanted children but had deliberately waited until she was older before starting a family.
Rylee’s dad is a former partner of Michelle’s and isn’t in the schoolgirl’s life.
She said: “I’d always wanted children.
“I didn’t want to be a young mum, I wanted to wait until I was a bit older, and more experienced at life.
“I started to long for a child in my mid-thirties, but had given up on relationships.
“It was a bleak time.”
Then, at 40, her life was turned upside down when she was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.
She underwent six months of chemotherapy, beginning just after her 40th birthday in October 2014, before receiving the all-clear in June 2015.
The treatment left her fearing she might never have children.
She said: “I was crushed.
“I asked the nurses if anyone that had had the type of chemo I’d had, ever gotten pregnant.
“They told me a 17-year-old went on to have a child afterwards.
“So there was a glimmer of hope still alive, but I was much older so I knew my chances were slim.”
Then in November 2016, her periods became increasingly irregular and she believed she was entering the early menopause.
She had also gained some weight and was suffering from extreme tiredness, but assumed the symptoms were connected to her cancer treatment and recovery.
Michelle said: “I did feel some strange sensations, like bubbles in my stomach.
“I’d never experienced this feeling before but explained it to myself as food allergies.
“I thought my stomach being harder than usual was also down to food allergies.
“Looking back, the most obvious symptom was the fact that my belly button had changed shape and for the first time and my belly poked out of the water in the bath.
“Three different people had asked me if I was pregnant.
“I told them I can’t get pregnant.
“I was convinced it wasn’t possible, so had been in denial.”
Then one day Michelle went to her GP for an appointment about high blood pressure.
She said: “The GP asked me if I was pregnant
“I said ‘I can’t get pregnant’.
“She felt around my stomach, then did an ultrasound.
“Within seconds of it touching my stomach we heard the ‘dub-dub’ of my daughter’s heartbeat.
“My eyes were wide, open-mouthed, and the doctor couldn’t stop laughing.
“I can’t remember exactly what I said but it was the best, most enormous shock I’d ever experienced.
“My head was spinning.
“I was absolutely ecstatic while trying to process what she’d just said.
“It was so surreal and I squealed with delight that I was going to be a mummy.
“This was a dream come true and it was actually happening to me – and quite soon too.”
But after the initial excitement came the reality that she had only around six weeks to prepare for motherhood.
One friend managed to gather two car loads of baby equipment, including a cot, Moses basket, clothes, baby chair and nappies.
She said: “Realising I only had six weeks to prepare was so hard to get my head around.
“I was literally walking on sunshine for two days, and then the enormity of it all just hit me.
“I was scared, worried about how I’d get organised, how I’d cope with it all with such little time to prepare.
“I hadn’t had any antenatal classes.
“I hadn’t a clue what to expect.
“I’d never even had any experience with babies.
“My mind was racing.”
Just 31 days after discovering she was pregnant, Michelle went into labour.
Her waters broke at home while she was alone, two weeks before her due date but thankfully Rylee was born without any issues.
Michelle said: “Holding her was the most magical feeling in the world.
“All this love just saturated my whole body and radiated between us.
“She was mine and I had never felt this much love in my whole life.
“They put her up my t-shirt and we lay like that for a while.
“What a priceless moment in time.
“It was as if my whole life had been training me for this moment.”
Michelle says she’s never regretted becoming a mum later in life.
She said: “Rylee is the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful child.
“We have such a laugh together.
“We’re very close and are open and honest with each other.
“We argue and annoy each other at times, but we always make up quickly and apologise to each other when necessary.”
Michelle admits there are some practical challenges to being an older mum.
She added: “I’m definitely more tired than if I was younger but I’m also more mature, wiser, more experienced in life so I can be a better mum to guide Rylee through life’s obstacles.
“She keeps me young and adds so much fun and laughs to my life.
“I’d be lost without her.
“If you’re still able to have children, then you’re not too old.
“Don’t give up hope.”
READ MORE: ‘Doctors said my skin tags were cosmetic – they were a sign of a hidden disease’
