An alcoholic has revealed how she spent Christmas before giving up the booze and drugs for good, as well as shared life-saving tips on how to get through the festive season if you’re struggling with addiction.
Eliza Rose Watson, a British model from the UK, has been clean and sober for almost five years and knows just how hard the holidays can be for those on the wagon.
At the worst stage of her addiction, the British model stole from her mum and family members to buy more booze and drugs, and would frequently neck “neat vodka and whisky” like it was water.
Prior to her recovery, the fitness enthusiast would always find Christmas Day being “a pain” and would sneak off into the toilets to do cocaine.
“Really, Christmas Day was no different to any other day – there were years when I sometimes missed it altogether and really had no idea of what was going on,” Eliza told Jam Press.
“If I ran out of cocaine it would be a nightmare trying to get more and I would spend all day obsessing over it.
“The holiday was more like a pain in the bum because I couldn’t go out partying.
“And while it was socially acceptable to drink all day, the people I was with didn’t drink like me or use drugs.
“I would sneak off to the loo for a line and I really thought that no one realised what I was doing, but in reality they did.
“Especially at gatherings like Christmas, I also felt I ‘needed’ to use and drink just to fight the hangover and seem happy and sociable.
“At the time, in my mind, it was a selfless act but I’m sure it made everyone uncomfortable.”
Eliza’s road to recovery in 2016 began just a few months before the festive period and she says her first Christmas clean and sober was “incredibly hard”.
She said: “I had been drinking and using drugs in most gatherings for 10 years, so it was really hard to know what to do with myself that first Christmas.
“One reason I found it so hard was that I had shamed myself and let my family down many times in these same situations, so the first time I was with all of them and sober was daunting.
“I felt uncomfortable and of course the thing that problem drinkers and drug abusers do when they feel like that is to use drink and drugs!
“I didn’t really know what to do with my hands, I was used to always having a bottle in them or I was sneaking off to use drugs, I swapped it all for chocolate.
“I had heard in recovery that sometimes it’s good to have something sweet if you crave alcohol, so I took that advice and ran with it.
“I went on such a sugar bender that on Christmas Day I woke up with such a headache.”
One of the most important things that got Eliza through her first Christmas sober was talking about how she was feeling.
She said: “People said ‘pick up the phone when you are feeling uncomfortable, instead of a drink or drug.
“It is much easier to put down’. It sounds trite but it’s very true.
“Having someone who knows how you’re feeling, who has been through it, is so important.
“There are lots of groups – whether in person or on Zoom – that you can access now.
“Finding people who understood me and talking to them on a personal level, is what got me sober and keeps me sober today.
“Once you do you’ll find you are not so ‘abnormal’ after all.”
Eliza also always plans an “escape route” for Christmas parties or events, so that she can leave quickly if the urge to drink gets too hard to deal with.
She said: “After almost five years in recovery I am much more comfortable in social settings, but there are some situations like clubs and parties where it can get too much.
“I know any sober person would probably feel a bit uncomfortable surrounded by drunk or drugged up people by the end of the night but they won’t have the guilt and pressure hanging over them.
“If I’m ever going to these types of parties now I will always make sure I can easily get away if I want to.
“For example, I’ll always have my car or I’ll book an Airbnb nearby so I can escape whenever.
“I’ve also accepted the fact it’s okay to leave.”
Although Eliza is a fitness enthusiast, she believes the best exercises for putting down the drink and drugs are actually mental and social-based.
She said: “So many people have problems with drink and drugs, try not to feel shame or to fight it.
“It is one of the most common problems in the world and you are not weak or a failure for having a problem.
“I did not put down drinks and drugs straight away.
“It was something I’d done for over 10+ years so don’t be too hard on yourself or lose hope if you don’t succeed right away.”
Now she’s sober, the model enjoys Christmas a lot more.
She added: “I used to have to fake feeling happy and connected to my family and like an outsider but now it’s a really nice time to get together with loved ones.
“This year, I’ll travel to see my mum’s side of the family for a few days and then come back to see my dad.
“The good thing about recovery is you really do appreciate the small things, like simply being there for people, being able to give gifts, showing up on time, the stuff people tend to take for granted.
“Even five years on I’m still very grateful for these things.”
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