A woman who ‘married a ghost’ says her husband has abandoned her just days after their honeymoon – because he can’t stop watching the World Cup.
Singer Brocarde, 38, from Oxfordshire, married spirit lover Edwardo – the ghost of a Victorian soldier – after a year-long romance.
But after a wedding day row and a rather lacklustre honeymoon, she claims things have turned sour between the pair, with her new hubby turning his attention firmly to the football.
“It’s a complete nightmare – it would be semi-forgivable if it was just the England games but he seems to have a World Cup obsession,” Brocarde told NeedToKnow.online.
“He’s never turned the TV on before but he won’t stop putting the football on.
“I’ve taken the batteries out the remote and unplugged it from the wall.
“If it doesn’t stop I’m going to have to throw the TV out the window. He’ll have to go to the pub to watch it then.
“I just find it annoying to be honest. I’m a new bride and I want him to be attentive, we should be rolling around in bed all day, feeding each other grapes, so it’s hard not to take it personally.
“He just acts like it’s my problem, maybe women were more submissive in the Victorian era – he’s clearly used to doing what he wants to hell with the consequences.”
Brocarde has had to get creative to tempt Edwardo away from the matches.
She said: “The only time I got him to turn the TV off was when paraded in front of the screen nearly naked in the most provocative lingerie I could find.
“I feel almost embarrassed to have to go to those lengths to get his attention but at the moment I feel like a total World Cup widow.”
The singer is far from alone, with recent data suggesting British women are stocking up on sex toys and lingerie to lure their football-crazed partners away from the TV.
GetFruityCo.com reported vibrator purchases soared by 32% in the run-up to the England vs Iran game on 21 November, which saw Gareth Southgate’s team get off to a flyer with a 6-2 win over Iran.
The online retailer, which specialises in adult goods, also reported a 17% increase in sales of costumes, baby doll slips and two-piece sets that leave little to the imagination.
While many football fans like to dabble with playing the game themselves, Brocarde says it is a “touchy subject” in her household.
She added: “As he died from falling down a well, his legs aren’t quite what they used to be, so anything that reminds him of his more active days seems a bit of a faux pas.
“He’s happy to discuss bedroom antics though, which is typical. Maybe his fascination with the World Cup is due to him not being able to play anymore.”
Despite his paranormal presence, Edwardo’s football craze doesn’t extend to predicting the results.
Brocarde said: “He’s great at predicting the result…after the final whistle blows. I mean give the man a trophy, right?
“I’m trying to get him to predict the results before kick off but he won’t play ball, at least then I could put a bet on, it would help pay for the wedding he didn’t contribute to.
“Naturally he is supporting England, but he had a little bit of an obsession with Spain before they got knocked out – perhaps he has some Spanish heritage as his name may suggest.
“Being married to Edwardo is a bit of voyage of discovery.
“I hope things will get back to normal once the World Cup is over – but we don’t really know what normal is.”
Life with the ghost has been eventful from the off, according to the singer.
She said: “If I’m honest Edwardo has been a less than desirable husband. On the run up to our wedding he was so warm, and embracing and as I walked down the aisle towards him I felt such an intense glow inside of me.
“It was second’s after we said ‘I do’ that things went south, I recited the lyrics to our song Haunted at the altar and he was so playful as we were saying our vows, he was touching me and tugging on my veil.
“This was until he told me the ghost of Marilyn Monroe was present, I don’t know if he was trying to wind me up, but what he said about her was so graphic and sexual, I dare not repeat it.
“This really left a sour taste in my mouth, it ruined what was supposed to be a passionate wedding night and things really haven’t been the same since. I’ve felt a coldness and a distance between us.”
As for the honeymoon? She was equally dissatisfied.
Brocarde added: “As Edwardo is a complete cheapskate, we ended up in Barry Island. Personally I wanted to be sipping cocktails on a private island but he had other ideas, I ended up covered in ice cream and sand and shaking like a leaf like a windswept clown.”
