An NHS doctor has spoken up about why women should consider attending gigs solo – after concerning research found one in five women (22%) feel ‘anxious’ about doing so.
In response to the study by viagogo, Dr Ally Jaffee, has taken to social media to share five practical tips – and a bonus acronym – on how to boost your confidence.
And why it’s so important for women to feel welcome in live music spaces.
READ MORE: ‘I’m a solo gig goer – this is how I stay safe as a woman at concerts alone’
The 28-year-old from north London is a psychiatry doctor and uses TikTok and Instagram as a way to reach a new audience – and help people improve their overall wellbeing.
“Being comfortable enough to attend events such as gigs on your own is one of the most liberating experiences you can have,” Said Dr Jaffee.
“I myself have gone travelling on my own, attended the theatre, cinemas, restaurants all by myself and it has improved my self-confidence massively.
“In modern life we tend to avoid our own company, distracting ourselves with other people.
“The one certainty in life is yourself; if you can feel comfortable alone you will see so many improvements.
“Your resilience will improve, your self-esteem will increase and it inevitably leads to more choices.
“You’ll be able to do things on your own terms and not be a sheep by conforming to what other people want to do.”
Dr Jaffee has teamed up with viagogo to share her advice ahead of the company’s ‘Solo Socials’ – an event specially designed to bring solo giggers together.
To secure free tickets for the ‘Solo Socials’ event, you can complete this survey.
Members of the public love Dr Ally Jaffee’s tips, with some sharing their own experiences.
Valentina said: “Last September, I went alone to see my favourite band in Berlin, and it was a great experience! Travelling alone to Berlin and finding my way to the hostel and the gig place was intimidating. But it was the best concert ever, I’m so happy I did it.”
Anoushka Rabin said: “I’ve never been to a concert alone but these tips are good!”
Charlotte said: “How amazing, I love the tips.”
Julia Holtz added: “I am seeing my first concert alone next week, this is an amazing concept!”
Yantin added: “This is so exciting.”
Molly Allen said: “This is so cool!”
Kaitlin Colucci said: “What a fabulous initiative, also I love the acronym.”
FACT BOX: THE ULTIMATE SOLO GIG GUIDE BY DR JAFFEE
TIP 1: SEIZE THE OPPORTUNITY
The first step to solo gigging is to take the plunge and book a ticket.
Once the ticket is purchased, you’re more likely to go because you have invested in it.
Dr Ally Jaffee said: “If you have an ambition or desire to go and see an artist you love, why would you let what other people think or do get in the way of that?
“Scientific studies have shown that by trying new things in life we experience dopamine hits which naturally boost our well-being.
“Conforming to the same old routine blocks these hits and inevitably leads to a negative well-being.”
TIP 2: USE YOUR F.E.A.R.
Stepping into a positive mindset goes a long way and will help you maintain a healthy perspective.
Dr Ally Jaffee said: “I think it’s important to own these moments, especially when the ‘what if’ thoughts start to spark.
“We have to ask ourselves: is this reality or is it a story?
“We live in a thought-generated reality and our feelings create our story, but it’s all modifiable.
“To combat the anxieties I use a technique called FEAR, which stands for False, Evidence, Appearing, Real.
“All the thoughts you may have around anticipating an event that has not
happened in real-time are in fact FALSE.
“They are all in your head and will only be your reality if you allow it so.
“This is not to say that they aren’t capable of feeling very real but know that you are not alone and that many of us think in this way.
“The good news is, you can experience more positive feelings by becoming more aware of your thinking.
“If you take an inside-out approach and realise that your feelings are coming from your thinking in the moment.
“Then, you can experience peace of mind and have the self-realisation that you are one thought away from experiencing more positive feelings, and these thoughts are not your reality, unless you allow them to be.”
TIP 3: TELL A FRIEND AND TRY TO MAKE A FRIEND
Just because you’re going to an event alone, it doesn’t mean you can’t get support through the process.
Let family and friends know your plan ahead of time, and If you feel lonely during quiet moments at the gig, give them a call or drop them a text.
Share your real-time __cpLocation during the journey to help you feel safer and share pictures and videos from the gig to make them jealous!
“You can also try making a new friend at the gig by learning more about the other fans around you.
“Seize an opportunistic moment eg. waiting in the queue or when you or standing or sitting before the act comes on and introduce yourself and ask questions about their top three favourite songs and whether they’ve seen the act before.
”They are there because they enjoy the music, just like you – use this passion to bond.”
TIP 4: GET LOST IN THE MUSIC
Concerts are emotional events – one in seven (16%) UK adults admit to shedding a tear (or two) in the crowd – this can be really cathartic and a great mood-booster.
Dr Ally Jaffee said: “Engage your mind and your body, become aware of your body sensations, ground yourself: inhale and exhale deeply for a few moments.
“Notice your breath. Then, whether you are sitting or standing, notice the points of contact of your body and any physical surfaces: the chair or the floor or earth.
“Notice any areas of tightness or tension and as best as you can, allow yourself to relax throughout your body.
“Give yourself permission to listen to the music, allowing it to envelope you and sweep you up into a trance.
“You can even close your eyes.
“Laugh off any awkwardness and use this as an opportunity to learn more about the other fans around you.”
TIP 5: TRY THE 54321 TECHNIQUE
Dr Ally Jaffee said: “Box breathing is a great way to refocus.
“Inhale for four seconds, hold your breath for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds.
“You can also try the 54321 technique, which increases the focus on our surroundings by using our senses and introducing our mind to new things to think about.
“You can say these out loud or in your head – five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, one thing you can taste or what you last ate.”
And if you’re ever in doubt, remind yourself of Dr Jaffee’s acronym for SOLO GIG-GOING:
Seize the opportunity
Openness to a new experience
Laugh off any awkwardness
Own it!
Get out of your comfort zone
Introduce yourself to others
Grow & Get lost in the music
