Dealing With Mixed Signals in Today’s Online Dating Landscape

Table of contents 

• They’re probably not into you 
• Exceptions to the rule 
• Pay attention to what they do  
• Trust your gut
• Manage your expectations
• Set boundaries

They’re probably not into you 

According to a 2023 survey cited by Forbes Magazine, 70% of people who met someone on a dating app developed a romantic relationship, but it’s a road fraught with uncertainty. When someone is sending mixed signals, they might not be into you at all. They could be trying to let you down easy or simply trying to make a fair effort before dismissing you. When it comes to the world of dating, a maybe is often a no.  

Exceptions to the rule 

Don’t be too quick to dismiss them. Maybe they really were too busy to see you last week, and they’ll try to make it up to you. If she didn’t kiss you on the first date, it could be a matter of principle; it doesn’t have to mean she didn’t like you. 

Did you have a great time on the date? Don’t overthink things. Don’t assume she needed an excuse to cut the date short. She was probably very busy the next day and had to get up early, like she said. 

Orbiting 

Mixed signals are so common that there’s even a term for them: orbiting in dating. Orbiting is when someone cuts off communication with you or makes it clear they aren’t interested in a romantic relationship, but they keep interacting with you. It’s usually on social media, through views or likes of your posts. This doesn’t necessarily signal lingering interest; it usually means people are just passing the time on social media. 

Interest quickly wanes on dating apps, and it’s no surprise with so many users and options. In 2023, there were more than 381 million online dating app users globally. It’s estimated that the number will reach 452 million by 2028. Declining interest is often a cause of mixed signals.  

What’s more, some people have concerns when it comes to meeting others online, which is another potential reason for sending mixed signals. You never know who you’re going to meet. A 2023 survey revealed that just 58% of U.S. adults felt dating apps were safe. Fear of scams and people lying about their identity were the main concerns about online dating.

Pay attention to what they do  

If they don’t initiate a second date despite claiming they had a great time on the first, they aren’t into you. Did they keep checking their phone during the date? They were probably bored. 

Not having time is not a valid excuse for not seeing someone. When you like a person, you find time to see them. You’re willing to stay up later than usual just to be with them longer. That’s human nature. 

If they put off a date because they’re busy, but they apologize and follow up to reschedule, that’s a very positive sign. It means they want to make things work. Don’t date people who put in less effort than you. A person can’t be too busy to send a message. 

Trust your gut

Trust your gut when you’re trying to deal with mixed signals, no matter whether they’re from a girl or a boy. Their indecisive behavior is irritating, but when you’re together, you can feel the chemistry. It’s important to trust what you feel. 

Manage your expectations

Consider your expectations when looking at how to deal with mixed signals. Do you seek a serious relationship or are you fine with a casual one? Think about your dates and interactions and gauge what energy the relationship has. Your expectations could be mismatched despite your feelings for them growing stronger. 

Set boundaries

If you must wait three days to get a text, make it clear this is not how you want to interact. Let them know you expect a quicker response, and be firm about it.  

Recap

• Mixed signals usually mean they’re not interested
• But, don’t jump to conclusions: there are exceptions 
• Trust your instincts, set boundaries
• Revise your expectations, if needed
• Actions speak louder than words