A mum is sharing her “challenging” breastfeeding journey after taking up pumping and says it made her feel like a “dairy cow”.
Vanessa Jupe, 44, initially felt “excited” to breastfeed her first child, Roosevelt – but this quickly turned into a taxing ordeal.
When he didn’t latch, the mum began to feel “guilty and ashamed” so turned to pumping instead.
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But then, the real nightmare began, as it consumed every waking minute of her day.
“I felt like a dairy cow,” the company owner told Need To Know.
“Pumping became a significant part of my routine, as I was doing it around the clock.
“I felt like all I did was live in pain, nurse, pump and clean parts.
“It added to any physical and emotional strain I already had to deal with – it was exhausting.
“I was persistent in trying to figure out how to make natural breastfeeding work, as I wanted my son to have the immune-system protection that breastmilk brings.
“I remember once screaming at my husband asking him to take the baby away from me because of the pain.
“I thought it was supposed to be easy, so I ended up feeling like a total failure of a mum.
“Lactation consultants treated formula like the devil, so I felt conflicted when I wanted to stop.
“But pumping caused relentless milk blisters and clogged ducts, which I had to pierce with a needle.
“I had incredibly sore nipples and stabbing pains in my breast.
“While I don’t regret using a pump, as it was necessary to ensure my son’s nutrition, it was an immensely taxing process.”
Vanessa is sharing her “agonising” experience as recent findings from a study by the US Centres for Disease Control and Prevention show that women based in the US who used a breast pump tend to breastfeed for 21 weeks longer than those who don’t.
According to The American Academy of Paediatrics and the World Health Organisation, it’s suggested to only feed breast milk for a maximum of six months.
For the mum from Kansas, US, she continued doing this for one year, but had to supplement with formula when the pain became unbearable.
She said: “Despite being the right choice for us, this only brought more feelings of shame and failure.
“Breastfeeding was incredibly challenging and far more difficult than anything I have ever faced before.
“Despite my determination and exhaustive efforts, the pain and issues still persisted.”
Now, Vanessa has set up her own company, Leva, which aims to support other mums and remove the guilt often associated with feeding choices.
And she’s finally enjoying being a mum to her seven-year-old son.
She said: “I am glad it’s behind me and I am less angry now.
“My son has been very healthy his whole life, so I feel I did the right thing by working through the pain of pumping.
“It was a journey that brought on intense feelings of shame, inadequacy, frustration and despair.
“But I’ve learned that it is normal to go through all of this.
“I want to empower mothers to make informed decisions that are best for them and their babies.
“There was always information I wish I had known, so I aim to put this out there for others.
“As women and mothers, we deserve better – we deserve the best.
“There is no one right way or right answer.
“Causing mums to feel guilty by feeling forced to pump vs giving formula is not okay.
“It’s a horror show of a journey – but it’s been worth it in the end for me – though it may not be for everyone.”
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