A mum has revealed that her “heart feels like it’s being ripped out” after her daughter was diagnosed with cancer again – and it’s now terminal.
Holly Brown spends each day worrying it’ll be her last with little girl, Olivia.
The six-year-old had initially fallen ill with what the mum-of-four believed to be heatstroke, before being diagnosed with a grade three medulloblastoma; which later spread to her spine.
The tot underwent gruelling chemotherapy and radiotherapy, which offered just a 50% survival rate, and was deemed all-clear in June 2025.
Sadly, their battle was far from over; and Olivia has been left going through the agonising ordeal once again.
But, this time, it’s terminal.
“I try not to think about the future because it’s too painful,” the full-time mum, from Clacton-on-Sea, Essex, told Need To Know.
“I don’t know how I’ll be without her.
“I’m scared for my other children and how they will cope losing their sister and how I will help them through it.
“It feels like someone has reached into my chest and ripped out my heart.
“It’s anticipatory grief knowing you’re going to lose your child.
“It’s something words can’t describe.”
A grade three medulloblastoma is the most common and aggressive form of a brain tumour in children.
Olivia was diagnosed in June 2024.
Holly, 32, had fears her little girl would go to sleep and not wake up again.
She said: “I felt complete devastation, anger and helplessness.
“It was the worst day of my life.”
Surgery to drain the fluid build-up on her brain, as well as an in-depth removal process, was carried out – and Olivia only then had to return for routine follow-up scans.
But, in September 2025, just six weeks after treatment ended, it was confirmed that the tumour was back.
And with a vengeance.
Holly said: “I thought there would be options of more chemo or something.
“I was devastated thinking she’d have to go through treatment again.
“Especially as I had planned her bell ringing; it was heartbreaking.
“I was told she wouldn’t survive and that treatment would only slow things down now, if at all.
“And she was placed on palliative care.”
Holly is struggling to deal with the grief, as well as the emotional and financial toll.
She said: “Hospital food, travel, emergency admissions; extra things for her all add up.
“Now it’s also about finding the funds to make special memories.
“I’m exhausted; I’m running on fumes.”
In October 2025, Olivia had been given just days – but after an adjustment to medication, she began to show signs of improvement.
She’s still fighting 12 weeks on, but Holly says she’s beginning to show signs of decline once again.
There might be hope, though.
A trial in the US is due to become available in March, which encourages cancer cells to differentiate, not multiply.
It’s unclear how much it’ll cost, though the mum is hoping it’ll accept international patients.
But they’re a long way off their goal, with £3,036 raised out of £5,000 so far.
Holly is focusing on taking each day as it comes.
She added: “It’s up and down.
“She still plays, talks and eats, but then she gets tired and needs quiet.
“She hasn’t had any seizures since hospice, which is good.
“Olivia is my brave little girl.
“If you’re worried something isn’t right, don’t be afraid to speak up.
“You’re told not to look online and I understand why; but being informed helped me to ask the right questions and push for answers.
“We’re just trying to make everyday count until we have to say goodbye.”
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