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Need To Know > Lifestyle > I tell my kids Santa isn’t real – people call me a terrible mum but they deserve the truth’
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I tell my kids Santa isn’t real – people call me a terrible mum but they deserve the truth’

Katie Dollard
Last updated: December 13, 2023 9:07 am
Katie Dollard Published December 6, 2023
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Story from Jam Press (Mums Santa Backlash) Pictured: Tenae Adamcic with husband Ognjen, son Dejan and daughter Freja. 'I tell my kids Santa isn't real – people call me a terrible mum but they deserve the truth' A mum-of-two has revealed how she’s been targeted by trolls and called a “grinch, liar and terrible mother” after revealing that she tells her kids that Santa Claus isn’t real. Tenae Adamcic decided to tell her three-year-old son, Dejan, the truth after trip to see the man in red left him in tears. The 28-year-old paralegal, who also has a daughter Freja, sharing both children with husband Ognjen, 31, later took to Instagram @amamsrhythm to share her opinion. And it’s not gone down well with users. The 28-year-old paralegal was eventually forced to turn comments off after being told she was a “narcissist” and an “awful parent”. “I had already considered the narrative behind Santa as something that didn’t fit with my parenting style,” Tenae, from Wollongong, Australia told http://Needtoknow.co.uk “But I thought if I removed all parts of Santa that didn’t resonate with me, my son would still enjoy the tale. “My son has been scared of Santa from the moment we took him for his first Santa photos at 10 months old. “Now nearly four years old, he still feels the exact same way. “[After uploading the post], I was receiving hundreds of comments in a couple [of] hours, calling me a liar, grinch, a terrible mother. “Saying my children hate me. “Bringing politics, religion, race and much more into the conversation. “I decided to turn the comments off because it defeated the purpose of sharing the content. “Me choosing to parent differently to you is not a personal attack, it is a personal choice made with my children in mind, not to offend you.” After Dejan having sleep issues to do with monsters under his bed, Tenae and Ognjen felt it vital to teach their son about the difference between reality and fantasy
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Tenae Adamcic decided to tell her three-year-old son, Dejan, the truth after trip to see the man in red left him in tears.

Picture credit: JAM PRESS

The 28-year-old paralegal, who also has a daughter Freja, sharing both children with husband Ognjen, 31, later took to Instagram @amamasrhythm to share her opinion.

And it’s not gone down well with users.

The 28-year-old paralegal was eventually forced to turn comments off after being told she was a “narcissist” and an “awful parent”.

“I had already considered the narrative behind Santa as something that didn’t fit with my parenting style,” Tenae, from Wollongong, Australia told http://Needtoknow.co.uk

“But I thought if I removed all parts of Santa that didn’t resonate with me, my son would still enjoy the tale.

“My son has been scared of Santa from the moment we took him for his first Santa photos at 10 months old.

“Now nearly four years old, he still feels the exact same way.

“[After uploading the post], I was receiving hundreds of comments in a couple [of] hours, calling me a liar, grinch, a terrible mother.

Picture credit: JAM PRESS

“Saying my children hate me.

“Bringing politics, religion, race and much more into the conversation.

“I decided to turn the comments off because it defeated the purpose of sharing the content.

“Me choosing to parent differently to you is not a personal attack, it is a personal choice made with my children in mind, not to offend you.”

After Dejan having sleep issues to do with monsters under his bed, Tenae and Ognjen felt it vital to teach their son about the difference between reality and fantasy.

The parents tell their kids Santa is just a fictional character and say they will discuss religious beliefs and traditions that include “commercial holidays but aren’t just centred around” them.

Picture credit: JAM PRESS

The mum said: “I was caught off guard when Dejan first said ‘Santa is just pretend’ but these words are so important to us because we have been teaching him the difference between real and pretend to help him tackle his fear of monsters.

“We have worked hard over the better part of this year helping him feel safe in his own room.

“Dejan knows the presents come from his parents, cousins, aunties and uncles, his grandparents.

“I want my children to come to me, always, I want them to know I am trustworthy always.

“Some children feel hurt by the little white lie of Santa. To them it’s not little, it’s world-crushing.

“Of course it is dependant on the child you have, they are all each so different.

“Some are more anxious than others and some feel nothing but excitement and joy when they think about Santa.

“It is also important for me that my children aren’t motivated by materialistic reward.

“[What’s more], if parents aren’t mindful of expensive gifts coming from Santa, children may believe they weren’t given as good a gift because they simply aren’t good enough, rather than the real reasons, being financial differences between families.”

Despite Tenae not bringing the magic of Santa to life, she still believes that her family’s Christmas is a magical affair.

She added: “We do everything and anything you’d expect your neighbours and yourself to be doing.

“We exchange gifts, sing carols, we crack open Christmas bon-bons.

“Santa just isn’t the main focus.

“My son still loves Christmas just as much as the next child and there will never be any magic lacking in our home.”

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