A man who found himself in £250,000 worth of debt due to a gambling addiction has revealed how he got out.
When Harj Gahley, 39, joined his friends on a night out at his local casino, it was all in the name of fun.
But after winning £60 on his first try at Blackjack, he was hooked.
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He began gambling once a week, quickly ramping up to every day, keeping his new-found addiction a secret from his wife, Sujaan, 36.
Harj then let the penny drop after realizing he was £250,000 in debt and was left remortgaging his home, selling his car and their cherished belongings to get back on his feet.
“I felt like it was quick and free money,” the managing director of Red Card gambling support, from Slough, told Need To Know.
“My lucky streak went on for a couple of months and during that time I was ‘up’ a few hundred pounds.
“Initially, I saw no problem with gambling; I actually didn’t know it was a thing until I went for the first time.
“But then I started lying to my wife about where I was and kept my addiction a total secret.
“I remember when she found out, my heart dropped to my tummy, and truth be told, in that moment, I didn’t care about her – I only cared about what she had found.”
Harj’s typical day started off with going to the casino, then the bookmakers, until he found online betting.
He would wake up in the morning, place a bet before brushing his teeth, again in the car while driving to work, at lunch breaks, and then stay late so he wouldn’t have to risk getting caught at home.
Once, during a quick break at work, he gambled – and lost – £9,000.
He said: “The more money I deposited, the angrier I got at myself.
“When I lost it all, I wanted to scream.
“I was so angry, upset, and annoyed at myself – but then I had to put on a brave face and get back into work mode, carrying on like nothing had happened.”
Harj used his wages, overdrafts, credit cards, and loans, as well as borrowing from his family and friends to fund the “suspense” and “high” of winning.
In June 2020, though, Sujaan was found sobbing “uncontrollably” on their bed, with his phone in her hand.
He said: “She had eyes of disappointment and hurt.
“She had accessed my online bank account and saw all the gambling transactions.
“I had no words, I knew what I had done and there were no lies I could’ve told to get out of it.
“I told her the truth and when I said how much debt I was in, there was pin-drop silence.
“From the outside, I looked educated, in a good job, happily married with children, and had my own house and a nice car.
“But inside, I felt like a failure.
“The feeling was a bit like cheating or having a mistress. I loved the toxicity that gambling or placing bets gave me, even if my life was at risk.”
Sujaan gave Harj an ultimatum; seek help or the marriage was over.
Together, they worked out a plan to squash the debt after reviewing all their finances, quickly getting the amount down to £90,000.
The remaining balance was reduced to nothing after he helped out with a friend’s business, as well as starting up his own.
He then spoke with GamCare, a charity helping those with gambling addictions, where he was able to go through therapy.
Now, he “despises” gambling as it almost “destroyed” his life.
He hopes sharing his story will help others going through addiction, especially as according to a survey carried out by GamCare, up to 61% of Britons have gambled in the last year.
Harj also offers his own services, as well as regular talks.
He added: “From being at rock bottom, I have been able to rebuild myself to a much stronger and resilient version of me.
“My wife and I are better than ever and are blessed that we have money in the bank to treat ourselves and create memories with our children.
“Nowadays, I don’t get the urge to gamble, but I still have flashbacks, though this reminds me of how far I’ve come.
“You are not alone in this, and there is hope.
“In the UK, millions are affected by gambling addiction.
“It all starts with recognizing you need help and getting on the long road to recovery – don’t suffer in silence like I did.”
