A bearded woman who used to shave to make herself more desirable says men actually prefer her hairy chin.
Khosi Nkanyezi Buthelezi has excessive hair growth on her face as well as chest, back, arms and legs.
The 42-year-old used to remove it because she believed it would make her more “lovable” – but soon found that her male suitors enjoyed her beard.
Some even asked her to stop shaving altogether.
“I shaved because I thought it would make me more lovable or desirable,” Khosi, a freelance book editor, told Need To Know.
“But I’ve had suitors make it clear, directly or subtly, that they’d prefer me with the beard, and I should never shave.
“And today, I approach love differently.
“I tell them ‘This is part of me, if my beard makes you uncomfortable, I might not be the partner for you’.”
Khosi, who has hirsutism – a condition linked to a hormone called androgen, which causes excessive hair growth – is sometimes concerned that these same men actually have a kink for her beard.
She said: “This [their obsession] makes me question whether they want to be with me because of a hair fetish.
“I deserve a love that doesn’t come with conditions attached to my body.”
Khosi, who hails from Johannesburg, South Africa, also has to deal with negative reactions, comments and stares.
She said: “I’ve been cyberbullied, called names during my live streams and [people] post comments, and [I’ve] even had people take photos of me without my consent [in public].
“The world isn’t always kind to people, especially women, who don’t conform to societal norms.
“I remind myself that people project what they don’t understand.
“On the flip-side, I’ve also had women – young and old – stop me and say ‘Thank you for existing’.
“Some have told me that they finally stopped shaving because they saw someone like me owning it.”
Maintaining a beard takes work and Khosi has her own grooming routine.
She said: “I now see it as almost a meditative part of my self-care.
“I don’t shave anymore but I do trim and shape my facial hair about once every two weeks, just to keep it neat on my terms.
“Daily, I cleanse and moisturise, just like anyone else with skin and hair to tend to.
“I probably spend 10–15 minutes on it a day.
“My story isn’t just about hair; it’s about identity, resistance and redefining womanhood on my terms.
“When people meet me, they’re meeting someone who turned pain into purpose.
“Someone who decided to be her own kind of beautiful – and that’s a story worth telling.”
