A dad who blew £1,000 a week on his cocaine habit has revealed how it destroyed his nose and his life – and left him looking like he’d been “dug up from a grave”.
Shane Samler, from Essex, estimates that he has spent £2.2 million in total on his addiction, which almost killed him.
The 38-year-old lost his business, pushed away loved ones and ended up physically and mentally broken as his life spiralled out of control.
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At his worst, he stayed locked in a room for days, sleeping just an hour per day while gambling and taking the class A drug.
The dad-of-three’s body even began to shut down, with his nose completely collapsing, his mouth locking up, and his skin turning grey.
Now, he’s speaking out to stop other people from getting caught in the vicious cycle of addiction, warning of the terrifying effects the party drug can have.
“I thought I had a whitehead spot on my nose and went to pick it and felt it go through – it was like something out of a horror film,” Shane told Need To Know of his lowest point.
“It was excruciating.
“I used to blow out pieces of cartilage.
“I was always in and out of the hospital.
“I used to have to have ice on my face, and I was on copious amounts of painkillers.
“I could only sleep for an hour at a time.”
And it wasn’t just Shane’s body that suffered, with the dad eventually losing much more than his health.
He said: “All the jewellery I had, all the cars I owned – I ended up giving them to drug dealers.
“I gave it all away for just a few hundred quid.
“I just wanted to die.
“I would have been happy for the cocaine to kill me.
“If I’m not doing recovery or working on myself, my head gets so busy, it feels like I’m getting dizzy.
“It gets so loud in my head.
“Cocaine made me calm.
“It did the opposite of what it should do.”
Shane started using the drug at 15, and by 17, he was hooked.
What began as normal weekend use soon turned into a regular habit with the teen burning through cash every weekend when he went out with mates.
By 18, his addiction truly spiralled out of control.
Shane said: “I was doing it once every week or month – it wasn’t an issue then.
“It never controlled me; I was never addicted to it then.
“Then I started doing it from Friday to Sunday morning every week without fail, and on Wednesdays.
“It became a nightmare, and my life has been a mess ever since.
“I would get half an ounce on a Friday and I would take that out with me for me and friends to do.
“I was spending about £1,000 a week.
“I ended up getting into tens of thousands of pounds of debt with the people above me, and my mum had to pay £20,000 to bail me out.
“She almost lost her house.
“I just remember the way it made me feel.
“It was the best feeling I can describe, apart from having kids.
“I felt like I was invincible.
“I felt like my confidence was through the roof.”
Sadly, Shane’s addiction only worsened when he visited doctors over an eye issue and was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) at age 23.
Medics warned he could end up in a wheelchair, and the news hit him hard.
But instead of slowing down, Shane’s cocaine use only got worse.
He buried himself deeper in the drug, using heavier and more frequent doses to numb the fear and pain.
Shane said, “I was betting online and I kept losing because I couldn’t see properly, so I booked an appointment to see a doctor.
“I was told I had MS and would end up in a wheelchair, and my world just crashed.
“I remember the feeling – it was horrendous.
“They were saying it could have been made worse by heavy cocaine use.”
Shane went on eight-day binges and ran his life into the ground while convincing himself he was fine.
He admits to taking an ounce every weekend and even stealing cash and metals from his successful co-owned scaffolding business to fund the habit.
He added: “Everything was going really well with the scaffolding, but my use had got bad.
“I used to do benders eight days straight, getting on it.
“When I was doing big benders, I would send people into the bank to draw money out of the scaffold company. Every week, we took £1,500.”
Aside from his drug use, Shane also gambled away £100,000 – a habit he picked up while high on substances.
Over the years, he has repeatedly tried to get clean but says the addiction always dragged him back, rearing its head at times of distress, including when a close friend passed away.
Despite multiple stints in recovery, including one funded by a friend who won £1 million on the lottery, nothing seemed to stick.
He said: “During my last relapse, I ended up in hospital – I got a cyst in my head, couldn’t open my mouth, and my ears went totally deaf.
“I could barely stand up because the room was spinning so much.
“I called a friend who worked at A&E, and I went to the hospital.
“That was a turning point for me.
“I had spent years missing out on my kids growing up.
“I missed out on so much – all I did was stay in bed getting on it.
“I was living in a bedroom in my mum’s house and would shut the door whenever they came round so they didn’t have to see me.
“I was like a homeless man living in a nice house. It was horrendous.”
Shane recently managed to stay sober for nine months until a relapse one night set him back.
Now two months clean, he’s working to rebuild his life and repair his damaged nose – but says the scars left by years of addiction will stay with him forever.
He added: “I’m optimistic – I feel like I’m doing well.
“I have options now – go to different rehabs, do different talks in different rehabs and do a course on public speaking.
“I’m trying. I just want peace.
“I feel as though I could help so many people. The only thing that stopped me was myself.
“I have things lined up this time, so I just need to keep busy.
“My worst enemy is myself – when I’m left to my own devices, that is dangerous to me.
“I’m bored of relapsing, I really am.
“That’s why I share my story – just to help people, so no one has to get to where I’ve got to.”
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