A woman has taken back her husband after he cheated on her countless times – and now they’re working together as marriage counsellors.
Ren and Adelé Bester’s marriage hit the rocks when the husband admitted to a series of affairs.
The couple, 46 and 41, say the weight of his serial infidelity and years of lies were pushing them further and further apart.
But after hitting rock bottom and having a brutally honest 40-minute confession, everything changed.
READ MORE: ‘Britain’s most famous mistress’ reveals the ONE thing that gives her the ‘total ick’ at Christmas
And the pair are now using their once-toxic past to help other couples claw their way back from the edge.
“I lost count of the number of times I cheated on my wife,” Ren told Need To Know.
“There were many women, that’s all I can say.
“It’s a shocking number.
“I honestly couldn’t put a number to it.
“There were loads.”
Ren admits he was addicted to approval from others, with sex becoming a drug that fed that need.
He said, “I mostly met women in the music industry.
“I was once a member of the group The Suits, so I met a lot of women through music, studios, everywhere.
“We had sex in hotel rooms, bathrooms, cars…anywhere.”
At home, Ren played the devoted family man, doting on his three children and his wife.
But the moment he stepped out the door, he was with someone else.
He said, “It wasn’t just sex.
“Between all the one-night stands and casual liaisons, there were at least three affairs over the years.
“One of which carried on for more than two years.”
Adelé began noticing something was wrong, and home life became a constant cycle of suspicion and arguments.
She said, “I watched Ren like a hawk.
“He wasn’t even allowed to drive to the petrol station without me or my eldest son going along.
“My friends and family begged me to leave him.
“But I couldn’t.
“I always thought I could change him or that he wouldn’t cheat on me if I just exercised enough control.
“I blamed everyone else, even the women.
“I believed they’d seduced him.”
She tried one counsellor after another, but the marriage remained a disaster.
During Ren’s third long-running affair, he asked for a divorce.
She said, “We separated, and his relationship with the other woman ended up on the rocks.
“Soon, Ren moved back into our family home for the children’s sake.
“But that’s when we started getting along again and things were getting better.”
Now, five years later, the couple are stronger than ever and even works together as marriage counsellors.
Adelé said, “Our message is simple.
“There is hope for broken marriages.
“But it’s often far from easy.
“Ren had his first affair three years after we married.
“Then again, a few years later, with my friend and mentor.”
But the affairs continued unabated.
Ren said: “I felt very guilty about what I’d done to Ade,lé but my need for self-affirmation was overwhelming.
“I was also addicted to drugs and had been in rehab several times in the past, once for six months due to cocaine use.”
Adelé gave up her career as a marketing consultant to raise their children.
At times, she didn’t know if Ren was dead or alive.
She said: “Yet through everything, I just wanted him to love me, even though I didn’t love myself.
“I found out about multiple sexual escapades with other women, but I clung to the hope that things would get better.
“I was trapped.
“I didn’t want a divorce, but I also knew we couldn’t continue like this.”
During their separation, she wondered if their marriage could be saved.
She said: “Then one day I googled, ‘Can one person save a marriage?’
“And I came across a marriage counselling organisation that said you can.
“You can’t control what the other person does, but you can learn to love yourself.”
Ren also realised he needed to work on himself.
He said, “I had so many secrets.
“I was convinced that if someone knew what I’d really done, there was no way anyone would love me.
“It was when we were outside, sitting on the front step one morning, that Adelé asked me to share my inner darkness with her.
“Then, for 40 minutes straight, I confessed everything.
“Adelé got up, hugged me, and just said, ‘Thank you for sharing that with me. It must have been very difficult, but I love you, and you’re now free.”
After another long conversation, he cut ties with everyone who had enabled his affairs, including his mistress and drug dealer.
He said, “I said ’I’ve told my wife everything, don’t contact me again.
“We have no more secrets.”
The couple now see helping other couples as their calling, knowing how much work is required to heal and forgive.
Adelé said, “Ren knows the price he paid when he was seeking approval and being promiscuous.
“And I know how it feels to want to control everything.
“Now everything we want, we get together.”
They took a marriage counselling course through the same organisation Adelé had used.
She said, “We worked with them for the past few years, but we’ve been doing our own thing since January.
“We already have many sessions under our belt and believe counselling can work for other couples too.
“We don’t advise couples to divorce, but we will recommend that they separate for a period if their well-being is at risk.
“You must protect yourself and your marriage and avoid romantic connections with other people.
“You must be aware of your needs, discuss them with your spouse and find those things within your marriage.”
Today, Adelé and Ren, from Germiston on the East Rand, southeast of Johannesburg, South Africa, say they’ve not only rebuilt their union from the ashes but are using their chaotic past to rescue other couples on the brink.
READ MORE: ‘I’m a professional girlfriend and had a client spend £840 on a date to BREAK UP with me’
