A couple who say they escaped a “cult” have lifted the lid on strict rules that controlled every part of their lives – from who they could see to what they could wear.
Andrew and Karen, both 37, claim they were banned from going to college and choosing their own friends.
The pair, who fell in love while part of the Jehovah’s Witness religion, say they finally broke free in 2023 after years of control.
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“They stole a time in my life away from me that I will never get back,” Karen, from Conyers, Georgia, US, told Need To Know.
“Andrew and I always had to be so careful with everything we did, or where we went, or what we said, because we were being watched constantly.”
Andrew said: “I wasn’t allowed to date. Watch certain movies, listen to certain music, or have any ‘worldly’ friends.
“I was very sheltered. It was really all I knew.”
Karen joined the religion at 16 after her mother, who was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness but rarely went to meetings, lost her brother and turned to the faith as a way to cope with her grief.
Andrew was born into it and knew no other way of life.
The pair met when they were just 12 and say they fell in love aged 16 – but strict rules meant their relationship was heavily controlled.
Andrew said: “We knew we wanted to spend our lives together.
“In our case, they actually kept us apart.
“When Karen found out we were expecting our first baby at 17, outside of being married, we got in big trouble.
“They absolutely do not tolerate sex outside of wedlock – I got disfellowshipped.”
Despite Karen being pregnant, the couple were separated and banned from even speaking – only seeing each other at medical appointments.
They eventually married at 18 – partly so they could be reunited.
Karen said: “Marrying Andrew was my choice.
“We should have been allowed to get married the moment we found out we were pregnant.”
The couple, now parents to two children aged 19 and 14, say life inside the group meant constant control.
Karen said: “The biggest thing that controlled me was my personality – it was too big.
“I wasn’t quiet enough, small enough, obedient enough.
“I was always getting reprimanded for just being myself.
“After a few years I just stopped talking. I stopped laughing, and stopped having an opinion… I just stopped.
“When everything you do is wrong, you just stop.
“My clothing was the next way I was heavily controlled.
“I’ve always had good shape – but I had to dress frumpy in hopes of not ‘stumbling’ the brothers or being too much of a ‘temptation’.
“I kept myself covered and it was so depressing.”
The couple say it wasn’t until the Covid-19 pandemic that they finally found a way out.
Karen said: “When Covid hit it gave so many witnesses a wakeup call.
“The organisation was heavily pushing for every member to get the Covid vaccine.
“Our entire lives, as witnesses, the brothers and the governing body always said it was up to our own conscience what medical care we received.
“I vocalised our family wasn’t getting it and the pressure they put on us was past anything else I had ever seen.
“Something about that set me off.
“I never looked back once I saw how they went against their own rules to push a vaccine so they could get tax cuts as an organisation.
“I started seeing the cracks in everything.”
The pair say fear had kept them from leaving for years – but that eventually faded, allowing them to start again.
Now, they run Karen’s Significant Moments Photography business and share their story with more than 99,000 followers online.
Andrew said: “The best way to describe life since leaving is being free.
“My mind is free, my time is now my own, my choices are my own.”
Karen added: “I can finally breathe.
“I make decisions based on what’s good for me and my family… not what’s going to please a bunch of old men.
“The freedom I feel is worth everything.”
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