A former teenage stripper who battled a heroin addiction, overdosed more than 10 times and was repeatedly arrested has revealed how becoming a mother helped turn her life around.
Tatiana Green began drinking and smoking marijuana when she was just 14 before being introduced to Percocet by a friend.
The now 37-year-old was prescribed 120 oxycodone pills aged 17 for interstitial cystitis and soon began seeing multiple doctors to obtain more medication, while also selling pills to fund her growing addiction.
After “doctor shopping” was outlawed, Tatiana turned to heroin because she could no longer afford her pill habit.
By the age of 17, she had become an escort and was working at a private strip club.
“My life became a nightmare, forever chasing the next pill just to
feel OK,” Tatiana, from New York, US, told Need To Know.
Tatiana spent time living in “trap houses” and on the streets surrounded by people involved in crime and drug use.
Her addiction spiralled so badly that she overdosed more than 10 times, was involved in multiple car accidents and spent six months in Nassau County Jail after being arrested for possession and intent to sell, aged 18.
Tatiana was also placed in a psychiatric hospital three times before she turned 18.
She said: “Life at the height of my addiction was painful.
“My mother [once] found me on the bathroom floor overdosed and called an ambulance.
“I was revived at the hospital.
“My parents were waiting for that dreaded phone call, to hear that I passed away.
“Part of me feels bad they had to live in that kind of fear and pain.
“I apologise for the pain I caused them during my addiction.
“However, my parents weren’t the healthiest people and also put me through a lot as a child.
“I have mixed feelings. I don’t blame them for my addiction at all. I take responsibility, but I do acknowledge I grew up in chaos with them.
“They did their best.
“They were kids themselves when they had me.
“The brain is not fully developed yet.
“They were also learning, and I have had to accept that.
“I was shooting heroin and smoking crack, doing ketamine, anything I could get not to feel what I was feeling on the inside.
“Inside, I just didn’t want to live and feel the pain I was feeling.
“I wanted to belong somewhere, and I believed that was the streets.”
Tatiana began her recovery journey in 2011 and managed to stay sober for 10 years.
But after suffering serious medical issues, she was prescribed pain medication again and found herself addicted once more.
She said the relapse brought overwhelming feelings of “shame and guilt” and that she almost didn’t make it back to recovery.
However, the birth of her daughter, Luna Grace, became a turning point.
Luna is now three and was born while Tatiana was in recovery.
Tatiana describes her daughter as her “reason for living”.
She said: “Luna was born a beautiful healthy little girl and she is my life.
“Without her, I don’t know where I’d be.
“On those hard days in recovery, when they do come, it’s her that keeps me going.”
Tatiana says motherhood has given her the opportunity to give her daughter the childhood she herself never had.
She said: “I found recovery from going to a treatment centre when I was 22 years old.
“I was introduced to the 12 steps. I was also reintroduced to God and began deepening my faith.
“I found that the more I spoke about, listened to, or became involved in recovery, the healthier I became.
“It was like I had to retrain my entire mind.
“I had one thing to change, and that was everything about myself.
“I journaled, wrote a lot, engaged in therapy, and completed the 12 steps four times.
“Everything in combination helped me move forward in my life.
“I learned how to ride horses and surf and volunteered on a farm.
“I began working a normal job.
“I did all the things I should have been doing in active addiction.
“I went back to school, got a degree, got married, and later on became a mom.
“My daughter keeps me the strongest.
“I live for her.
“I am honest, I have loved drugs in my life but I love my daughter way more than I loved any drug.
“I am always looking to grow and learn, becoming the best version of myself.”
She now works as a substance use counsellor, recovery coach and interventionist and has gained qualifications including CASAC-2, CRPA and CAI.
She also founded her company, Onward Forever, which provides recovery coach and intervention services, and a non-profit organisation called Natalie Foundation aimed at helping at-risk young people.
Tatiana regularly speaks in schools across New York State and travels to share her story of addiction and recovery.
She said: “Recovery has been beautiful.
“Full of pain, love, mess, strength, healing and hope.
“I’ve saved thousands of lives, and I’m living in my purpose.
“I get to give my daughter the childhood I craved and wished for without the trauma.
“I’m a person of integrity today and I care for others not just myself.
“Tough days come, but they pass with the inner strength I have developed and my deep faith in God.
“Today, I love myself.
“I’m a recovery angel.”
Tatiana’s days now begin with getting Luna ready for school before she goes out to help people struggling with addiction through speaking engagements, sober coaching and interventions.
She said: “I’ve shared my story all over the country.
“I do this to share with the world that no matter what people are going through, whether its addiction or mental health issues they
can make it out.
“They can break through.
“I believe in people.
“My motto is, ‘If they are alive, there is a chance’.
“So, we must never give up in breaking the stigma and inspiring others to get clean and sober.
“I spend a lot of time with my family, nourishing my daughter’s precious soul and being the stance for recovery we need in the world.
“I’m very busy, but it is a good busy.
“I’m no longer busy doing a whole lot of nothing, with a needle hanging out of my arm.
“I’m making a difference in this world.”
Tatiana says she wants to use her experience to show people struggling with addiction that recovery is possible, regardless of how far they believe they have fallen.
She added: “Drug addiction starts very young and the younger you
begin using drugs the likelihood of developing an addiction increases up to 75%.
“Addiction develops in us long before we realise it’s even happening and often the people around us notice before we do.
“Addiction doesn’t discriminate.
“If you’re struggling with addiction and you feel lost or broken, I want you to know that you can recover.
“Not only can you recover, but you can also live a beautiful joyful life full of wonder and adventure.
“It’s never too late to change your life.
“The only one stopping you is you.
“No matter how far gone you think you are, if you believe in your freedom from addiction, you can be free.
“If you’re breathing, there’s a chance.
“What really got me sober so young was learning that there was more to life than getting high.
“I learned that I could have fun being sober.
“I had never known that. I had always correlated fun with drugs. I never knew I could have fun without using drugs.
“Now, fun to me is walking on the beach, swimming in the ocean, riding some carnival rides, watching a great movie, going for walks, iceskating and even singing.
“Thats what attracted me to recovery and what has kept me in recovery now that I am middle-aged has been my daughter.
“I got clean and sober very young, at 22 years old.
“Luna has kept me sober as I am aging gracefully through life.”
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