A woman has revealed she is in the real-life version of movie 50 First Dates after losing her memory prompted her to fall back in love with her partner over and over again.
Nesh Pillay, 32, from Toronto, Canada, had been dating Johannes Jakope, 30, for just over a year when she lost her memory at random after having a nap while watching a movie with her boyfriend one day in October 2022.
When she awoke, she was “confused” and over the next few hours most of her memory completely disappeared – including any of her six-year-old daughter.
Nesh believed she was 17 again and was unable to create new memories, with her memory “resetting” once every minute.
Nesh, who has previously suffered unrelated brain injuries, believes she most likely hit her head prior to the amnesia, though she has no memory of this.
A neurologist confirmed she had a concussion and said she had likely suffered a series of seizures – leading to the memory loss and diagnosis of undergoing a traumatic brain injury.
As well as losing much of her memory, Nesh also forgot Johannes – who has had to fight to help her fall back in love with him more than 50 times, echoing the plot of hit movies 50 First Dates and The Vow.
Her short term memory has since healed, with her slowly being able to remember things for five minutes, then 10, 20 and onwards until now, where she is able to retain memory of her partner and daughter.
“So many people have referred to our story as 50 First Dates or The Vow and I see the similarities – after all, I did fall in love with him for a second time, and will likely do so for the rest of my life,” Nesh told NeedToKnow.online.
She has even mistaken Johannes for an Uber driver several times, and said he had to remind her multiple times a day who he was – or go along with the theory for her own peace of mind.
Even more distressingly, Nesh lost all memory of her daughter.
She said: “I forgot that I had a daughter, but knew I constantly felt afraid about the well-being of a small child.
“I called my daughter ‘the child’ which I imagine was a jarring experience for her.
“I would say ‘I have a child? I don’t know how to take care of a child!’”
Johannes has since become a huge support to Nesh, helping care for her physically and even learning how to braid her hair properly.
She added: “No matter what, I always knew he was a safe space. He was still the person I would choose to go to doctor appointments with me or help me shower.
“So naturally, even in my brain state, I wanted to marry him.”
She captured the moment she proposed to him in early November, sweetly saying: “I don’t have a ring but will you marry me? You’re the best person.”
She couldn’t legally consent at the time, but Johannes later proposed on 20 January this year, after Nesh’s recovery had started.
She said: “Because so little is known about concussions, treatment options are limited. I’m on medication that helps with my headaches and sleep issues but beyond that, I sleep as much as I can.
“For most of the last few months I cut out things like caffeine and alcohol, but I’m slowly reintroducing them.
“I also cut out driving, but am hoping to start again soon. My doctor said my brain activity has settled down, so it’s safe to do so.
“When my symptoms like headaches, vomiting and body tremors start to surface, I stop. I cease all stimulation, put on noise-cancelling headphones, and jump into bed. I’m hoping this will help build my tolerance – it did with my last concussion.”
For Nesh, suffering a brain injury was sadly not a new experience.
She said: “When I was nine, I was in a car accident in South Africa that left a gaping gash in my forehead.
“The doctors at the hospital called in a plastic surgeon to make sure I look alright but there were no brain scans and no talk of concussion, so I was sent home that very day.
“I’ve had 4-5 more concussions since then, each more serious than the one before, and each instigated by a smaller and smaller head bump.
“Unfortunately the brain remains an enigma to medical science. Concussions rarely show up on any imaging, and while we know their symptoms, we can’t predict their outcomes.
“While my concussions have been diagnosed, there has rarely been a linear treatment plan other than to address individual symptoms like headaches and sleep issues.”
Now, she is looking to the future and focusing on her continued recovery, and building a life with Johannes.
She said: “I’m waiting for the dust to settle to find out who I am now. Every concussion has caused a permanent change in my brain.
“I’m normally a very independent person so I’ve struggled with losing that. I moved in with my parents for a while so they – and my partner – could help me.
“Johannes has recently moved in with me to help with recovery.
“It’s just little steps forward, and steps back when I’m overwhelmed. I hope in time, those little steps forward will amount to strides.”
The experience has also confirmed one thing for certain – that Johannes is the man for her.
Nesh added: “I am more sure of my choice in life partner now than I’ve ever been.
“Normally when you choose a partner you’re doing so theoretically. You think, ‘Yes, in theory, I think this person will stay with me in sickness and in health’ – but reality is a whole different story.
“I know now, without a doubt, that Johannes will always prioritise and love me. I’m committed to doing the same for him.
“It was hard to find romance for a while, when I could barely shower and wash my hair, but romance took on a different definition.
“It went from glitzy dinners to sitting on the couch watching him play VR with my daughter. But it’s deeper now, more rooted, more pure.
“My personality has changed since the injury – I’m more quick to anger (quite irrationally, might I add), I’m more on edge.
“I don’t have the energy to do a lot of the sweet romantic things I would normally.
“While he rarely shares this – for fear of hurting my feelings, I assume – I’m sure this is difficult for Johannes.
“I’m certain he’s dealing with trauma from having me forget him. I think it will take time. We are both committed to prioritising our mental health though, so we have separate therapists and make time to talk to each other about our feelings openly, and without judgement.”
Johannes echoed Nesh’s sweet words.
He said: “I thought I had planned for every possible life outcome, but this one came out of left field.
“The whole experience was surreal, but I kept focused on Nesh and her needs. We took it one minute at a time, then one day at a time.
“I was really afraid – I didn’t know what to do or how to help her. Would she always be this way? I just didn’t know.
“I feel really grateful that she’s healing well and that she accepted my proposal. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us, but I know one thing for certain: It won’t be boring.
“I would do it over and over again, if I had to.”
