A woman has revealed that she doesn’t tell men she identifies as transgender before meeting them as people are “too judgmental” – and shares her difficult journey.
Growing up, Adea Danielle, 22, always felt like there was something “missing” and at aged 16, after stumbling across a YouTube video on the subject, realised she was transgender.
As she related to being in the “wrong body”, Adea told her mum and soon, she was placed on the waiting list for hormones, before getting gender-affirming surgery in 2021.
The influencer, who has over 138,000 followers on Instagram (@adee.ah), is now using social media to share her journey and help others who are going through a similar situation.
In a YouTube video published on Shera (@shera_oficl), a digital platform dedicated to empowering women, the 22-year-old talks about the treatment she’s received from others.
She also reveals the reason behind not telling men that she’s transgender before meeting them.
In the interview with Shera, she says: “[People tell me] I’m lying to them or that I’m deceiving them.
“There’s so much judgement around the trans label and if a guy were to learn that I’m trans before, he would make up a whole idea of how I am and how I must act.
“It’s my past and you’re not going to meet someone and tell them everything that happened in your past.
“I want him to get to know me and also, I’m not going to get rejected by a guy that I could reject – so I just tell them when I’m interested and when I want to take things further.
[Online] guys often comment ‘Oh you’re lying to men’ but then how can they say I’m lying if I present myself as a woman?
“They’re basically saying I’m a man.”
Growing up, Adea recalls dressing in her mum’s clothes and wanting to play with her sister’s toys and believes her family knew she was “different.”
While her mum was very accepting, her dad wasn’t on board at first – but now, he’s her biggest supporter.
Adea, from Canada, also believes not much is known about transgender people outside of the community, saying it’s often thought that people “wake up” and decide their gender – when in fact, it’s not a choice.
She also claims that studies have shown her brain doesn’t identify with being male and looks similar to that of a woman’s, with the hormone treatment proven to provide a feeling of “true happiness.”
She said: “As soon as you start the transition process, it’s been proven that the brain lights up and that’s when you feel true joy.
“You can’t really be proud or feel content with how people view you [before], as you know that when people look, it’s not really who you are.
“It feels like no one really loves you.”
Previously, Adea hit the headlines after revealing the complications she suffered after undergoing Brazilian butt lift (BBL) surgery.
She claims that the pain left her feeling like she was being “burned alive”.
Adea has also undergone gender-affirming surgery, where the penis is removed and turned into a vagina.
While she’s glad the procedure was a success, there was a long road to recovery, which wasn’t easy.
Speaking about the painful surgery, Adea said: “It was so intense and I was screaming, before I fainted.
“On the first night, they had to put gauzes in between my stitches and the next day, they couldn’t take them out as I had bled out.
“I had blood clots where I couldn’t pee anymore and so they had to leave it in.
“A year ago, I had to go back because the function of it [wasn’t right] and it looked very bad.
“It was a really difficult time for me, because I went from having something in between my legs that I hated, to this.
“I would never touch it and disconnected with that area [of my body].”
Adea feels it is important to share her story and has garnered immense support online.
She said: “I do get a lot of comments saying that I have saved [people’s] lives because I’ve given them the courage to transition and that alone is all I need.
“When I started transitioning, one of my biggest fears was the judgement that I would get walking into the community.
“I don’t know why there’s such a big stigma that when you transition, you have to do this or get that.”
Adea claims that after coming out as transgender, she lost over 50,000 followers on social media – and while this hurt at first, she’s now focusing on her future and happiness.
She added: “When I saw that video and learned I was trans, it pretty much saved my life, because I was in a horrible space.
“You can’t care about what anyone else has to say and just shut everyone out.
“Concentrate on yourself and focus on where you were in the past [compared to now] and not where others are.
“As I got older, before my transition, I expressed myself through art and would draw a lot of feminine energy and faces.
“I really want to make a living with my art when I’m older and have a gallery – I want my name to be known.”
