An influencer has revealed how she became “obsessed” with herself – and advises her followers to follow suit.
Aja, who goes by Aja MyQueen online, preaches self-care and self-love to her 100,000 followers on TikTok, where she shares advice and inspiration.
The 27-year-old, from Phoenix, Arizona, US, says she is able to have a high self-esteem and be “obsessed” with herself by giving herself an overload of attention and treating herself “like a baby”.
She says self-care is the key and takes time out of her day to attend to her needs and check in with what she wants.
She said: “I’ve given so much attention to myself, literally treating myself like a baby.
“I’ve had to carry myself through sickness and death… [then one day] I was looking at myself in the mirror and I was like ‘you have to be completely obsessed with yourself’.
“You have to really think about what a person would do if they were obsessed with themselves, and wanting the best things for myself.
“I go through the day like that.”
In a YouTube video published on Shera, ( ), a digital platform dedicated to empowering women, Aja went into detail on why she feels so confident in herself – and how others can achieve the same results.
She said: “Most of the time I have a high self-esteem.
“I am in my prime, I’m ridiculously fine, I’ve got a good head on my shoulders, I treat people with respect.”
As for how to replicate her success and get a high self-esteem? Aja says a lot of it comes down to the company you keep.
Aja said: “The people you surround yourself with – I’m very choosey on who I spend my time with.
“I think a lot of the people around me are a reflection of me.
“When I’m around somebody and they’re tearing themselves down, that goes onto me.
“So I surround myself with people who also have a high self-esteem, who also love themselves.
“They’re not perfect, nobody is.
“But it’s literally about who you surround yourself with, for me.”
Aja, who also hosts self-love podcast, As If!, feels strongly about sharing her message with her following.
She said: “If I can help someone else [by sharing] my experiences, then so be it.
“I’m not ashamed of who I am.
“I’ll film myself all the way, I’ll tell myself I’m fine, I’ll tell myself I’m beautiful.
“Because there are people out there that thrive off of bringing you down, and I’m not going to help them.
“So, I only speak good things about myself.
“That’s really what I preach a lot about – self-love and not being ashamed of who you are.
“[We all should] be proud of your body, be proud of your boundaries and standards, because they exist for a reason and should be honoured by you.
“When they are honoured by you, other people have no choice but to honour them.”
But despite her strong self-love message, Aja insists validation from other people is still necessary.
She explained: “I know sometimes people like to say that we don’t need validation from others, and that we don’t need anybody else – [but] I don’t agree with that.
“We are human beings and we need one another, and sometimes someone patting you on the back and telling you you’re doing a good job is what you need at that time.
“…When I think about what self-love looks like for me, it’s being able to see myself and not relying on anyone else to see me.
“And making it a priority for me to see all the good things in me, more than it is for other people to see all the good things in me.
“I want people to think that I’m just amazing, I want people to love me so much.
“I think I’m human and normal for that, I don’t think I’m alone when I say I want people to like me.
“…I think for me it’s going to be impossible to never want outside validation, but to accept it from people I trust.
“But also taking time to validate myself.
“I have a board where I acknowledge myself. At night I write down all the things that I’ve done good for myself, even if it’s super small, even if it’s like taking out the trash.
“Even if it’s small, you write that down and then in the morning you congratulate yourself for all the things that you did [the day before].
“So first thing in the morning you’re like ‘oh who took out the trash? Good job!’ – hype yourself up like you would anybody else.
“It’s a lot easier for us to hype everybody up and cheer everyone on, but when it’s our turn we look at everything we’ve done badly and pick ourselves apart.”
Aja insists her trick works for everyone – and is something we should all apply to our daily lives.
She said: “You might think you’re not the prettiest girl, not the most handsome man, you don’t have the most money, or you don’t have the best car – [but] that does not disqualify you from being a victim of a hater.
“The thing about value or being a valuable person – it has nothing to do, sometimes, with what you have physically.”
The content creator also swears by “romanticising” her life, such as drawing herself a bath and luxuriating in it.
She said: “Everything for me is a little extra, going the extra mile for myself.
“And that’s really helped me a lot.”
As for the secret to a “healthy” life?
Aja said: “Good friends, buy great lip gloss, say your affirmations every morning, and get physical.”
