A mum has revealed how she’s been “forced to the bottom of the career ladder” after having a baby while her husband is about to be promoted – earning £18,000 more than her a year.
When Evie Jay unexpectedly fell pregnant after being diagnosed with endometriosis, she was overjoyed.
But the 33-year-old’s happiness quickly turned into fury when her maternity leave came to an end.
READ MORE: I think kids should be banned from restaurants at Christmas – even though I have my own
Before becoming a mum, she was working full-time towards becoming a trained therapist, a dream she had held as a teenager.
When Evie and her husband, Joe, 33, explored childcare options, though, it was apparent that this would be out of their budget.
And it would be better off for her to work part-time until her daughter [not named for privacy reasons] reached school age.
It’s left the 33-year-old “infuriated” by the system that “forces mums to the bottom of the career ladder while the dads are allowed to climb high”.
“My career was put on hold completely,” the employment specialist, from Newcastle-upon-Tyne, told Need To Know.
“I think I was naive before becoming a mum, as I was convinced that I could go back to university or go for a trainee job.
“But it’s put a complete freeze on my end career goal.
“As I can’t climb that ladder right now.
“I feel like I’m being punished for being a mum.
“We need to get out of this mindset that parental responsibilities are solely down to the mums.
“Dads aren’t really given much choice to help.
“It’s incredibly frustrating seeing such a clear divide in how mums and dads are treated in relation to childcare.
“I’m not angry at my partner – I’m angry at the system that has forced this incredibly unfair burden upon us.”
Evie, who has a degree in psychology, was told she would struggle to have children.
Unfortunately, her first pregnancy ended after a few weeks, and so when the couple saw another positive test, they were excited for this next chapter.
But that excitement was quickly overshadowed by anxieties surrounding work.
She said: “I worried that I’d be made redundant, or pushed out of the business, or not be able to return to my job.
“I’ve had previous employers be very open about not wanting to hire women in case they get pregnant and finding ways to ‘get rid of them’ when they do.
“There have been opportunities to progress in my role, but they’re only for those who can commit to full-time hours, which I just cannot afford to do right now.”
Evie earns £28,500 per year, while her husband earns £46,500 per year as an engineer.
According to recent findings by the Office for National Statistics, mums’ earnings drop by an average of £1,051 a month compared to their salary before having a child.
And that they suffer “maximum losses” in the first year after their children are born, as they are more likely to take extended parental leave than dads.
Their daughter, aged three, has just joined nursery full-time due to now being eligible for the Government’s 30 hours of free childcare per week – though the hours don’t fully cover their childcare needs.
The mum hopes to return to work full-time and get back on the career ladder, especially as her husband is due to be promoted, though he is still subject to being around for school drop-off and pick-up hours.
She said: “How are you supposed to make full-time work without bleeding yourself dry paying for childcare?
“My partner doesn’t have the option to reduce his hours, as there are no part-time engineering roles available.
“So, once again, it’s left to the mum to deal with.
“It feels like the entire system is against us.
“You’re expected to parent like you don’t work, but work like you don’t have kids.
“I do everything by the book, but I’m constantly getting hit by brick wall after brick wall as I try to develop my career further.
“If there’s a way to beat the system, I beg people to tell me, as I can almost guarantee those solutions are unrealistic or unsustainable for our family.
“There needs to be more balance, as parents, regardless of gender, should not have to be held back in their careers because they decided to have children.
“We live in a country that complains about the declining birth rate, but, at the same time, penalises parents for having children.
“Make it make sense.”
Evie hopes to retrain as a therapist next September, when her daughter will be going to primary school.
The whole ordeal has put her off having more children –and she says that’s the case for many other mums, too.
She added, “The cost of living in this country has made it impossible to even consider having another child.
“Food shopping, energy bills, childcare; everything keeps going up.
“We just get by now as a family of three, so if we had another child, we’d be financially ruined.
“It genuinely breaks my heart to say that.
“In an ideal world, where there is support for both parents and our wages aren’t bled dry each month, we’d love to have more children.
“But, unfortunately, that’s not the world we live in.
“As soon as you have a child, in my experience, you’re a burden on everyone and everything.”
READ MORE: ‘I’m a mum paying for Christmas by selling my TEARS in a bottle for £500’
