A mum has revealed how her son suffered seizures after being relentlessly bullied at school before she pulled him out over fears for his safety.
Harry Burden, 15, a quiet teenager living with epilepsy, had barely walked through the school gates on his very first day before his mum Judith Burden, 48, received an urgent call.
Just hours into the term, the stress of the school environment had triggered a terrifying seizure.
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From there, things only spiralled, with Harry’s epilepsy – previously under control – worsening so badly that doctors doubled his medication.
“He was being sick and he was extremely overwhelmed,” Judith, a cardiac physiologist based in Wistow, North Yorkshire, told Need To Know.
“I knew straight away this wasn’t going to be easy.
“It wasn’t just his nerves and the new environment.
“There was bullying by some boys – constant name-calling, his tie and other belongings stolen, and he was punched a couple of times.
“Even with the very best teachers and behaviour policies in place, bullying in schools is a common occurrence.
“It wore him down, and every day we were worried sick about what he was going through and how he was feeling.
“Forcing children who are being bullied at school, or who find a physical school environment challenging, five days a week can be incredibly damaging long-term.”
Judith said Harry struggled badly in the busy secondary school environment, finding it “very difficult to navigate”.
The bullying continued throughout the school year, leaving him increasingly anxious, sleep-deprived and physically unwell.
Eventually, Harry even refused to attend school during the final days of term.
The mum said: “He stopped sleeping and he couldn’t eat, these are all triggers for seizures, and I remember thinking, ‘This is going to end badly, he’s going to have another one soon,’ and after months of stress, he did – during the school holidays.
“It was devastating.
“We’d warned the school how serious this could get, but every time we raised our concerns, nothing was ever followed through, and the support wasn’t consistent.
“A pastoral safe room offered some brief respite for him, but sometimes it was closed, so there were days he had nowhere to go to feel safe.”
The breaking point came at the end of term, when Judith decided she could no longer risk sending Harry back into mainstream education.
Instead, she made the difficult decision to homeschool him.
She said: “He couldn’t face going in, and the one place he felt secure was shut.
“I just thought, ‘I’m not sending him.’
“I was genuinely worried about what might happen if I did.
“We made the decision over the summer holidays.
“The last week of term had been incredibly challenging and this helped us make the decision.
“We did speak to the local home education support officer, who was really helpful and understanding of our reasoning.
“We also spoke to his paediatric team who were also very supportive.”
Judith quickly enrolled Harry at Wolsey Hall Oxford, a Cambridge-approved homeschooling provider whose former pupils include Nelson Mandela.
Nearly a year later, Judith says the transformation in her son has been remarkable and that “the old Harry is back”.
She said: “He’s calmer, he’s happier.
“His medication has been reduced, his sleep has improved, and the constant anxiety has lifted.
“Harry now says he loves learning because it’s quiet, safe and away from any stress – put simply, Harry can learn at a pace and in an environment that works for him now.”
Judith now uses her day off each week to support Harry with subjects he finds challenging, while regular tutoring and help from her husband – who works from home – keeps him on track academically.
She said: “I was really worried it would be a nightmare for him to juggle his job and ensure Harry did his work.
“This is not the case.
“At 8am sharp Harry goes to his desk and just gets on with it.
“I would say home schooling has promoted Harry’s independence and our life is easier.
“I don’t blame the school, they have so many children with varying needs to support it must be really challenging for them.
“I do feel there are so many kids out there that just don’t thrive in huge, overcrowded secondary schools.
“This makes for a chaotic learning environment.”
Harry is now thriving academically, particularly in environmental management – a subject unavailable in his previous school – and hopes to build a future working with animals.
Harry said: “I wouldn’t have done that before.
“I’d have just done something boring in an office.
“But now I want to study animal management at college and be a zookeeper.”
For Judith, the contrast between Harry’s life now and his experience at school is heartbreaking to reflect on.
But she believes many other children are facing similar struggles in traditional education settings.
She added: “I regret those years I sent him to school; it shouldn’t have been that hard.
“No child should feel scared every day.
“When he was at school, I spent every day worrying about him.
“Now, I don’t have that fear anymore.
“Homeschooling has given me my son back.”
Gavin McLean, principal at Wolsey Hall Oxford, said: “An education system should adapt to the child, nurturing their individuality, curiosity, and pace of learning, not force the child to conform to a rigid system that was never built for them.
“The fact that many, like Harry, are forced through this outdated system throughout their younger years is a national crisis and one we are urging the Department of Education to address for all students and teaching practitioners.
“Homeschooling is increasingly seen as a popular alternative, giving parents the freedom to create a more personalised, flexible environment where children can truly engage through hands-on learning, real-world experiences, and the time and space to build confidence without pressure.”
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