Meet the mum who ditched her job as a probation officer to become a professional matchmaker.
Laura Buckley, 42, from Brighton, traded in her role as a probation officer to become a professional matchmaker and help unlucky singletons find love.
She recalls having a “hideous” time being single, so decided to put her experience to use and advise others who struggle to find ‘the one’.
Her dating service, Secret Alchemy, offers matchmaking and dating coaching for bachelors and bachelorettes.
“I spend my day head hunting single people who are interested in being in a relationship and spend time getting to know them,” Laura, who shares five-year-old son Jackson with her husband John, told Jam Press.
“It’s important for me to know everyone, so that I’m making a match that’s likely to work and not just matching people for the hell of it.
“I do a lot of social media and I also run dating events, so my day is mostly socialising with singles.
“[I also] offer one-to-one coaching to singles who have a complex dating history or have relationship patterns that make dating tricky for them.
“We do a lot of thinking about past behaviours and then adjust those to be more positive in the future.
“I do a lot of practical support, such as looking over profiles, writing [them] and debriefing after dates.”
After working as a probation officer for 20 years, Laura quit the role after finding herself exhausted due to handling other people’s trauma.
However, she has been able to utilise her previous experience – and says some of the same theories apply in matchmaking.
She added: “Everything I’ve learned about attachments and psychological schemes from a crime point of view, heavily applies to matchmaking too.
“Whether you’re talking to people about their trauma or their relationship hang-ups, so much of someone’s behaviour can be boiled down to their early relationships.
“If you were neglected by your parents as a child, you’re likely to have a fear of rejection in relationships as an adult.
“I like understanding people’s patterns and behaviours, so this still allows me to do that.”
Despite the dating app market thriving, Laura recommends anyone looking for a serious commitment should ditch the “disposable” sites and try a matchmaking service instead.
She said: “I hear people talking a lot about how much time they invest in ‘talking’ on apps, only to meet and then having nothing in common.
“A new client told me a story about how he was talking to someone for six weeks every day and then when they met, he had been catfished.
“He felt very let down and annoyed with himself, as he had wasted a lot of his time and energy – this kind of thing is over investment, as people believe what they want.
“Matchmaking takes all of this away, as my clients know that I know them well and they trust that I will only match them with someone who meets their criteria.”
Laura has seen people from all walks of life using her service, but usually works with women.
However, she’s recently had an influx of “great” single men, which she says isn’t always easy to come by.
Although success is hard to measure, she has made many matches – but sometimes the boxes are left unticked.
Laura said: “Success in love is hard to measure, as I tell my clients that even when it all looks good on paper, there may be no connection.
“I’ve had times when I’ve been so sure that it’s a perfect match, only for one of them not to agree – which is frustrating.”
