A woman living the ‘real life 50 First Dates’ after waking up only to have lost her memory has shared what life is like – after she had to re-learn who her daughter and partner were.
Nesh Pillay suffered amnesia at random after taking a nap, only to become increasingly confused once she woke up.
The 34-year-old believed she was 17 again and was unable to create new memories, with her memory “resetting” once every minute.
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She had no idea who her partner Johannes Jakope, 32, or her young daughter was, echoing the plot of movies The Vow and 50 First Dates.
Over time, Nesh’s short term memory has healed, allowing her to slowly remember things for five, then 20, then 20 minutes – until now, where she is able to retain memory of her now-husband, daughter and her new son, who she welcomed last year.
Now, the mum-of-two has partnered with Amazon to release a docu-series, aptly named ‘50,000 First Dates’, about what happened to her – and what life has been like since the shocking incident.
“I only retain about 20% of new memories – if you asked me what I did two days ago, I’d probably just stare at you and hope for a hint,” Nesh, who is from Toronto, Canada, told Need To Know.
“My health changes day to day, so it’s hard to answer when people ask how I’m doing.
“Some days, I feel almost normal and other days, I can’t get out of bed and am so out of it that I can’t follow a conversation.
“I’ve kept searching for treatments and solutions to make life easier for myself.”
It all started back in October 2022, when Nesh decided to take a nap while watching a film with Johannes.
When she awoke, she was “confused”, and over the next few hours, much of her memory completely disappeared.
Nesh, who has previously suffered unrelated brain injuries, believes she most likely hit her head prior to the amnesia, though she has no memory of this.
A neurologist confirmed she had a concussion and said she had likely suffered a series of seizures – leading to the memory loss and diagnosis of undergoing a traumatic brain injury.
She previously said: “So many people have referred to our story as 50 First Dates or The Vow and I see the similarities – after all, I did fall in love with him for a second time, and will likely do so for the rest of my life.”
She has even mistaken Johannes for an Uber driver several times and said he had to remind her multiple times a day who he was – or go along with the theory for her own peace of mind.
Even more distressingly, Nesh forgot all memories of her child.
She said: “I forgot that I had a daughter, but knew I constantly felt afraid about the well-being of a small child.
“I called my daughter ‘the child’ which I imagine was a jarring experience for her.
“I would say ‘I have a child? I don’t know how to take care of a child!’”
Johannes has since become a huge support to Nesh, helping care for her physically and even learning how to braid her hair properly, and he went on to propose to her.
She added: “No matter what, I always knew he was a safe space. He was still the person I would choose to go to doctor appointments with me or help me shower.
“So naturally, even in my brain state, I wanted to marry him.”
She couldn’t legally consent when he first proposed, but after her recovery had started, she confirmed once more that she wanted to marry him.
The engaged duo welcomed a son together in March 2024.
Meanwhile, Nesh has also been focused on recovery efforts, having suffered side effects including headaches and sickness, as well as a tremor, as a result of the incident.
The docu-series – which comes out on 11 February – follows her as she meets with a neuroscientist at the University of Toronto, Morgan Barense, who gives her much clearer answers about the state of her brain. She said of the experience: “It was exciting – but also pretty terrifying.
“I’ve taken those results to multiple neurologists to try and piece together a treatment plan. “Unfortunately, there’s still so much we don’t understand about the human brain, so right now, it feels a lot like throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping something sticks.”
As for how it feels to star in her very own documentary?
Nesh added: “I’m still blown away that we’ve come this far and that a docu-series about my story is actually happening.
“Even though I was there for all 300 hours of filming, it still doesn’t feel real.
“It’s one thing to live through these experiences, but seeing them turned into something tangible – a story being told on a larger scale – is completely surreal.
“But more than anything, the most important part of this is raising awareness.
“So many people have shared that my story makes them feel seen, that they’ve had similar experiences but never had the words to express them.
“That’s incredibly humbling.
“This is the kind of story I wish I had when I was younger, and knowing I can now be that voice for someone else is an honour I don’t take lightly.
“I hope people take away the idea that even if it feels like your symptoms aren’t being heard or taken seriously, that doesn’t mean they’re not real.
“For a long time, I carried a lot of shame because my diagnosis was so unclear, and I knew that some doctors didn’t fully believe me.
“But now, I’m realising just how common this experience is.
“I also hope the documentary shows that real life isn’t a movie – it’s messy, uncertain, and imperfect, and that’s OK.
“It took a lot for me to open up so vulnerably in this film, but in the end, I’m really glad I did.”
Speaking in 2023, Johannes said of life after Nesh’s incident: “I thought I had planned for every possible life outcome, but this one came out of left field.
“The whole experience was surreal, but I kept focused on Nesh and her needs. We took it one minute at a time, then one day at a time.
“I was really afraid – I didn’t know what to do or how to help her. Would she always be this way? I just didn’t know.
“I feel really grateful that she’s healing well and that she accepted my proposal. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us, but I know one thing for certain: It won’t be boring.
“I would do it over and over again if I had to.”
