A woman has shared how a series of chronic conditions left her with yellow skin and eyes – causing trolls online to call her a “monster”.
Emma Mendelssohn has been suffering from a handful of illnesses for the past decade, culminating in needing an emergency liver transplant.
Due to having severe jaundice when her health was in its most precarious state, the 22-year-old’s appearance turned a strong yellow colour – leading to unkind comments and stares when she went out in public.
“Turning yellow was a huge insecurity,” Emma, from Bay Area, California, told Need To Know.
“The world was definitely confused and shocked by it.
“It’s a side effect of liver failure, called jaundice, where the levels of bilirubin are elevated, and your skin and eyes take on a yellow tint.
“Since my liver was aggressively failing at that point, my jaundice levels reached 66 at my worst – which my doctors said were the highest levels they had witnessed.
“Normal levels of bilirubin range between 0-0.3.
“I wasn’t already yellow, as the levels increased over time, but I was always noticeably yellow enough for people in public to acknowledge it and make comments about it.
“People asked if I knew my eyes were yellow and would tell me to go to the doctors.
“It happened gradually, although at a point I couldn’t even really tell until it was gone – and I look back noticing how bad it [the colour] was.
“I really hated looking in the mirror, it was a constant reminder of how sick I was.”
Emma, who documents her health journey on TikTok, where her videos have garnered up to 43 million views, has received cruel comments online too.
She shared that people have called her “a monster” and said she looks “ready for Halloween”.
She said: “It quickly became a huge insecurity,
“I hated going out and hated looking at myself, and especially taking pictures.
“I hated myself – or at least the way I looked.”
Emma’s health battle started in childhood when she was 12, when she was diagnosed with hypothyroidism.
Three years later, she first showed signs of jaundice, but it soon went away, so she wasn’t particularly concerned.
But over time, the yellow tint returned, alongside her feeling increasingly tired.
Emma, who is currently unemployed, said: “I credited the tiredness to the excessive amount of work and time I was putting into school, sports and extracurricular activities since I had no previous poor health record.
“I was always active, played multiple sports, was a devoted student, and my health honestly was never even a topic of discussion – I was always ‘fine’ or ‘normal’.”
But things came to a head in October 2018, when the jaundice returned with a vengeance and she was sent to hospital to have a blood test.
Over the course of several tests, doctors found she had extremely elevated liver enzymes and she was diagnosed with liver failure, alongside autoimmune hepatitis – a liver disease that happens when the immune system attacks the liver.
She was also given the terrifying news that she needed an emergency liver transplant.
Emma received the transplant the following month, which her body ‘rejected’, leading to her becoming more poorly than ever – during which time she ‘turned yellow’ – and even accepting that she may not make it.
Luckily, she was able to have a second transplant last year.
Emma said: “I was constantly in pain and uncomfortable, and really just wanted it to be over – regardless of what the outcome was.
“I was never scared of death.
“The first time around influenced my perspective, allowing me to see and appreciate the last six years as more [time] than I would have had – a bonus, in a sense.
“I was content with how I had lived, and up until a week before going on the list, I was fully planning on dying at 21.
“The second transplant was so much better than the first time.
“I was up walking the next day, out of hospital within the week, and self-sufficient within the month.”
Emma has been working on her recovery since – though she still has autoimmune hepatitis.
She said: “Unfortunately, there isn’t necessarily ’treatment’ aside from medication to suppress my immune system.
“Autoimmune hepatitis doesn’t have a cure. It is a really rare and under-researched disease, which is something I’m really grateful I have been able to bring light to through my platform.”
Emma says that learning to live with her new normal has been an adjustment, with her having to “let go” of control and “embrace the unknown”.
She said: “I have a chronic illness where my body attacks itself and I have no power over it.
“There’s no treatment, there is no cure.
“And as much as I hate to admit it and despise the truth, I highly doubt in my lifetime there will be a cure.
“Now, I simply have had to learn to let go, and approach situations and challenges with grace.”
Emma is currently closely monitored by her doctors, and hopes to one day have her health be in a more stable condition.
But the experience has had a profound effect on her outlook on life.
She added: “My transplant, experience through liver failure, and diagnoses, have truly expanded my appreciation for life and the little things.
“So many small wins go overlooked every day, but when you are surrounded by losses honestly the small wins seem huge.
“And altering my everyday life from overlooked the small wins and the daily annoyances to appreciating and celebrating the fact that even though I might not want to get out of bed, I woke up today.
“It takes everything being taken away from you, before you can realise how big the small wins are.”
