A woman in her forties who is single and childfree is tired of being judged for her relationship status by people who ask if she is “scared to die alone”.
Alison Seponara isn’t interested in compromising her needs and says her life is “full”.
The wellness content creator and licensed therapist, who has 624,000 followers (@theanxietyhealer), helps fellow women navigate their “forty-something single era” and “heal anxiety holistically”.
READ MORE: ‘I’m 53, single and can’t be arsed to find a man – I’m more at peace alone’
When asked if she feels people judge her for being childfree and single, the 45-year-old told Need To Know: “Mostly [those] from older generations who grew up with a very different idea of what a woman’s life ‘should’ look like.
“I’ve definitely heard comments like, ‘Aren’t you scared of dying alone?’ or ‘Don’t you want kids before it’s too late?’ or ‘Who is going to take care of you when you’re older?’
“Honestly, it used to sting – but now I see those comments as reflections of their fears, not mine.
“My life is full, my relationships are meaningful and I don’t need to follow someone else’s timeline to feel whole.”
Thankfully, Alison has a great support network of family and friends who respect her lifestyle.
The Conshohocken, Pennsylvania, native said: “They don’t treat me like I ‘should’ be living a different life because of my age.
“A lot of my girlfriends are also single with no kids, so I feel like I have a community that gets it.
“There’s no pressure, no pity – just support and genuine acceptance.
“I’m not someone who fears being in a relationship, I actually love partnership, but I also won’t settle for something that doesn’t feel aligned.
“I think midlife teaches you that peace is more important than forcing anything.
“So yes, circumstances have played a role but I’ve also chosen myself over relationships that weren’t healthy or fulfilling.”
Although she is currently single and finds her life fulfilling, Alison is also actively dating but “not from desperation or fear”.
But she does experience the “grief” of milestones that others have reached.
She said: “For me, the grief isn’t about ‘not having a man’.
“It’s about grieving the life I thought I’d have by now – the version of life as an adult I grew up imagining.
“Marriage, kids, the traditional timeline: Those were all things I believed would naturally happen, and when they didn’t, I had to mourn that version of my future.
“It’s also the grief of watching certain milestones pass or change shape.
Baby showers, family events, holidays – they can bring up this quiet ache.
“It’s not constant but it comes in waves, and it’s valid.
“I think it’s important to highlight that there’s a huge population of women in their 40s who are single – by choice, by circumstance, or by a mix of both…and we deserve to be represented without stigma or assumption.
“We are not ‘behind’, we’re not broken.
“We’re not waiting for our lives to begin.”
Alison, who loves to travel and is very active – with a passion for yoga, pilates, hiking and pickleball – adds that being single in her forties has given her a “kind of freedom” that she didn’t fully appreciate when younger.
She added: “I get to build a life that actually feels good to me…not the version I thought I ‘should’ have by now.
“There’s so much joy in deep friendships, spontaneous plans, slow mornings, solo travel, and getting to know myself in ways I never had the space for before.
“There’s also a level of self-trust and independence that I’m genuinely proud of.
“ I don’t have to shrink or compromise my needs. I get to choose everything with intention: The people I date, the life I’m building, and what I allow into my energy.”
