A mother claims that her “addiction” to a sober wellness drink triggered a problem with alcoholism – which saw her enter rehab the day after her baby had turned one.
Meggie Austin had started taking Feel Free Tonics – which are marketed as “feel-good” drinks that include botanicals such as kava root and kratom, and no alcohol – shortly after welcoming her daughter Ryder.
The company was the subject of recent headlines after an Arizona attorney general sued them, claiming they illegally sold kratom and kava tonics as “energy drinks” without disclosing the products’ risks of addiction and withdrawal.
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Meggie, 36, says she became dependent on the drinks and claims they triggered worrying side effects, including severely red and swollen eyes.
When she stopped taking the drinks as a result, she experienced “flu-like withdrawal” symptoms – which led her to alcohol.
Instead of what she’d hoped would be healthy alternatives to booze, the mum turned to drinking vodka in bed all day immediately after quitting due to the withdrawal symptoms.
“I took the drinks to give me energy and focus – they made me feel like I could actually complete the tasks I needed to get done as a new mom,” Meggie, a yoga instructor and sobriety coach based in Charleston, South Carolina, US, told Need To Know.
“I needed energy to get by during those early days of sleepless nights with my newborn.
“I absolutely thought it was a healthy option [at the time].”
Meggie had previously taken the drinks prior to her pregnancy and didn’t note any withdrawal symptoms at that time, so believed she was safe to take them.
After giving birth to her now-two-year-old daughter in August 2024, Meggie started taking Feel Free Tonics, soon drinking up to six a day.
The amount was upped when she returned to work as a fitness instructor, and Meggie’s use of the drink spiralled to up to 13 bottles a day.
She estimates she spent a whopping $28,000 over the course of nine months buying the drinks.
She said: “I became addicted to Feel Free Tonics basically the week I got home from the hospital with my daughter.
“They were marketed as an alcohol alternative that helps focus, mood, and energy.
“As a new mom, it was perfect for me.”
The drink Meggie took contains kratom – a herbal psychoactive substance that acts as both a stimulant and an atypical opioid, commonly encouraging relaxation.
She said: “I honestly didn’t realise I was addicted [at the time].”
But in the months that followed, Meggie noted issues cropping up – which she believes were caused by the drink.
She said: “I didn’t realise what was happening to me.
“By the time February came around, my body was straight up rejecting the tonics and it [my skin] was blowing up all over my face.
“My eyes had styes constantly and my skin was totally dried out and flaky and I went to five eye doctors in the hopes of understanding where it was all coming from.”
It wasn’t until she found a podcast about the effects of kratom that she realised there could be a link.
She said: “I heard other people who had similar experiences on Feel Frees and it all became obvious to me.
“I had been poisoning myself.
“I didn’t want to believe it but my bank account and my face and overall demeanour couldn’t hide it [my addiction].”
But by then, Meggie was hooked.
It was four months and numerous attempts before she quit the drinks – only to find that she then needed to fill the void with other substances.
She turned to alcohol, despite having never previously struggled with addiction, and even having done ‘Dry January’ – a month of sobriety – at the start of 2025 that same year.
Meggie said: “Kratom withdrawal felt like I had woken up with the flu and also been hit by a bus.
“I had the worst anxiety of my life, and couldn’t sit still or sleep.
“Brutal is an understatement.
“I leaned heavily on alcohol to soothe those pains.
“By day two of getting off of the tonics, I was staying in bed all day with a hidden bottle of vodka.”
Meggie’s reliance on alcohol became a part of her everyday life, with her hiding her use from friends and family, and leaning on her partner, Tim, to do the bulk of childcare for their little girl.
She said: “Alcohol was the only thing that really took the edge off – [it gave] a moment to feel the weight of the world come off my shoulders.
“I started finding more reasons to drink.
“Ways to drink earlier, which turned into ways of hiding it.
“I would choose going to the bar over picking up my daughter when given the choice, and I would hate myself when she would reach for Tim over me.
“A hungover parent is never a parent that feels 100%.
“I quickly learned how terrible it felt to parent after a night of drinking, but my partner is an amazing dad and human and he would help carry the load when I felt terrible.
“My nervous system was shot and I couldn’t get out of fight-or-flight mode.
“I knew I had taken alcohol to a place that changed things for me.
“I pushed the limits too far and had crossed a line I couldn’t come back from.”
The day after her daughter’s first birthday – six weeks after quitting the tonics – Meggie checked herself into a 20-day rehab, using her medical insurance to cover the costs.
While she was able to detox from alcohol, she rethought her previous use of kratom, and upon leaving rehab, had convinced herself it “wasn’t a real drug” and relapsed within a week.
Meggie said: “My kratom relapse showed me that I couldn’t do sobriety or recovery alone.
“I had fought tooth and nail to do it my way, and I failed – so I had to try a different way.
“That’s when I started going to recovery meetings and talking about my struggles and sharing on social media about my experiences.
“I let people in. I let people see me. And I started speaking truth.”
Meggie realised that the exhaustion of juggling new motherhood with her then-job as a fitness instructor had pushed her to get some light relief from alcohol.
She said: “I was so tired, but really I just wanted to feel like myself.
“Alcohol gave me a glimpse of that cool, chill girl I used to be.”
Meggie hasn’t taken the drinks or any kratom since September 2025.
She said: “Recovery has been a ride for me.
“I went from feeling like I was going to be missing out forever and basically standing on the sidelines of my own life to truly loving my life and my recovery more than anything.
“I was so scared of all that I would lose that I couldn’t see the possibilities of what life could look like on the other side.
“That’s where the real change happened for me.
“I had to fully let go of who I was.
“I’m now in this season of life that looks like helping others find their way to recovery.
“It’s changing the narrative around what sobriety looks like and showing people how to feel their emotions and take some power back over their lives and their circumstances.
“My life is so much better after giving up substances.
“My daughter will never know a mother who drinks.
“I am my best self when I am clear – and I have only found that clarity in my sobriety.”
As for her advice to other people considering taking kratom?
Meggie added: “Don’t be fooled.
“I suggest you get to the deeper root cause and skip the kratom band-aid altogether.
“It’s just not worth it.
“I looked for freedom and confidence and energy in many different bottles – I never found it in any of them.”
Jam Press has contacted Feel Free Tonics for comment.
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