For over a decade, Sara Danielle has dated many sugar daddies who have treated her to anything she wants – from expensive trips to $3,000 a month allowances.
People often assume sex is central to the relationships but the 31-year-old insists that this couldn’t be further from the truth.
Now the semi truck-driver, who has been enjoying the dating style for 13 years, is dishing the dirt on what it’s really like to be a sugar baby, including the good and the bad.
“The very first man I spoke to, I thought I’d hit the jackpot; he made promises of money, a new car, a home and all kinds of things,” Sara, from Iowa, told What’sTheJam.
“Back then, the whole concept was still very taboo and so I had nothing and no one to talk to or help me navigate the lifestyle.
“Everything I did and learned has been through trial and error – needless to say, that first man ended up being a con-artist.
“So for me, there was my first lesson: if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.”
After changing the websites where she was seeking arrangements, Sara eventually found her first real deal sugar daddy, a man 40 years her senior.
She said: “I was 18, he was 58 and a professor.
“He was separated and his kids were older than I was.
“We met a couple of times for coffee and lunch.
“He was kind and sincere, each time we met, he would hand me cash so that I could go get my nails done or go shopping.
“Our arrangement only lasted a couple of months.”
After the first rendezvous, Sara stepped out of the sugar dating scene for a while to date traditionally – but found it to be a let-down and soon returned.
Sara said: “Once back in the game, I decided that I wasn’t going to be exclusive with any one daddy.
“I was going to date around – I did this for several years until around the age of 22.
“I was flown to Portland, Oregon to spend a weekend in a penthouse suit with a CEO of a Fortune 500 company – he owned a vineyard and so I got to tour his place and drink all the wine.
“I had an arrangement where I met with a gentleman for lunch or dinner three to four times a month and was given an allowance of $3,000 a month.
“I spent an evening in SoCal [Southern California] at a resort with a gentleman and his wife getting dinner and going to get drinks and was given $10,000.
“A gentleman paid for the entire weekend at the Cosmo in Vegas with some of my girlfriends for my 22nd birthday.
“Another gentleman had a booty fetish and asked if he could give me a massage, fully clothed, for $2,000.”
Despite the fun, all of Sara’s arrangements were short-lived and she says the lifestyle has its downsides, too.
She said: “None lasted more than a couple of meetings here and there, and no strong feelings or connections were made.
“It’s actually quite cut and dry.
“Both parties are very well-aware of what the expectations are.
“The role of the sugar daddy is simple – he is aware that the sugar baby is looking for luxury.
“He needs to provide that if he wants access to the sugar baby when he is available and on the terms that suit him.
“I think what’s really important to understand about this lifestyle, is that it’s not just about the money or the material gains.
“There is so much more to it.”
Sara says that anyone just after quick cash is better off going into sex work, as being a sugar daddy requires more.
She said: “If all you care about is the money and you could care less about the person you’re involved with, then you’re better off becoming an escort.
“[As a sugar baby], you’re building real relationships with real people.
“That means you’re investing your time into each other.
“You become a friend, a confidant, a therapist, a comfort source to men whose lives are non-stop.
“Once you get into the groove of things, it actually turns out to be very low maintenance and very freeing.
“This is why sugar daddies give the allowances or gifts that they do.
“They recognise all that you do for them and they want to make sure you feel appreciated for it.“
While her relationships have been short, Sara always puts the time in to find the right sugar daddy, which can be a lengthy process.
She said: “You won’t find someone the day you make a profile.
“You won’t make money fast.
“This takes building trust and connections.
“These men do not want to feel like an ATM machine.
“You will sift through endless emails, have endless conversations that will just fizzle out.
“It can be quite overwhelming and quite exhausting.
“You have to have patience.
“If you hound these men and you sound desperate for cash, you’ll turn the legitimate sugar daddies off in an instant.
“You’ll attract the men who are looking for an escort.
“Which could potentially be dangerous.”
Now, Sara educates young women on how to say safe online when seeking a sugar dating arrangement, with her TikToks gaining thousands of likes and views (@saradanielle08 ) from her 52,900 followers.
She said: “In my TikTok videos, I try to explain the difference between being an escort and being a sugar baby.
“Sugar dating is a relationship, much like “normal” ones.
“They’re not paid by the hour.
“They’re not paid for services.
“They’re forming relationships with men/women who have means.
“Bonds are made.
“The people who have issues with sugar dating are those that think that buying a woman a drink at a bar or ‘Netflix and chill’ are sufficient enough to get a woman into bed.
“Women who are sugar babies know that they’re worth more than that.
“They deserve more than that and won’t settle for cheap s**** from cheap men.
“When you’re vetting a potential sugar daddy, it is imperative that you do your research on this person.
“Never go to a hotel or a home without meeting in public first.
“Always share your location with someone you trust and let them know where you’re going and who you’re seeing.
“Your safety is imperative.
“The chances of you finding a sugar daddy on social media platforms are about 0.01%.
“If there’s no plans to meet in person, it’s probably a scam.
“If you receive messages saying ‘I’m looking for online connection and I’ll pay you $2000 a week’ it’s a scam.
“The lifestyle isn’t for everyone.
“Not many people find what they’re looking for.
“All I can say is, before you start, know why you’re getting into it.”
